HapEllyEverafter

Nice Knowing You

2012-01-28T22:13:00.000-05:00

Week three of 14 is now complete for school. We're officially back into the swing of things, and by golly this is going to be one heck of a ride. A ride that is not going to just be filled with Academic antics, but one that will have to be balanced with more outside/real world work. The budget has dictated that it's time for me to start contributing more to our financial well being if we're going to have any chance of recovering from the income/debt hit of the last 2.5 years.

So with that, it's time to accept my fate to return to work, embrace it and to make sure I find what I want. To be able to do that and do it well, it's going to mean for a pretty intense 3 months, so if I'm not around much blogging, please don't think I've forgotten about you. Just know that my time is just simply being used living our lives and not documenting it as closely as I'd like.

Stay tuned though, it's not like I'm going away, just taking a step back.

How much you wanna bet, I'll blog more now that I said I wouldn't?

Wish me luck.

Milk, School, Gymnastics and the bed time battles

2012-01-22T22:10:00.000-05:00

Boy oh boy, time to catch up once again.

School is slowly picking up speed along with work-work and with that free time is at a premium. Not to mention one of my new years resolutions was to try and make the effort to visit with more friends outside of whatever is currently occupying my time. This has been nice too, as I've enjoyed two parties in two weeks - little miss social. Not to mention two play dates, Elly's school, gymnastics and all the other stuff we've crammed in.

So what's been going on?

Milk is on the out.

Elly has always had some degree of eczema. Generally it's been under control and she's never really complained about it. It's flared up from time to time, but I never really gave the cause much thought. In fact, I never really did any sort of investigation as to what the cause of her eczema was, I just more or less put cream on the really flared up patches when the time called for it.

Well, unfortunately it REALLY flared up a couple weeks back. Her torso, all her 'hot spots', legs, shoulders, back, front - everywhere pretty much was red, dry, itchy, scaly and irritated and she was complaining and scratching constantly. Having been to the docs before I pretty much assumed that if I went I'd just get a prescription for the cream she's used in the past that has and continues to relieve the discomfort, but would't likely get anywhere near resolving the cause.

While visiting a local health food store in search of St. Frances Deep Immune to try and help keep our family healthy through the winter months with school and illness everywhere; I asked the clerk about anything they may have for eczema. The clerk shared her personal experience with her milk sensitivity that lead her to have issues with eczema her entire life. A little tired of the bad rap that milk has been taking with pretty much any and all naturopaths taking anyone and everyone off milk, I was tempted to tune out. Between the dairy and the gluten, refined sugars and all the crazy nut and other allergies, I just didn't want to think that our house would have to consider adapting and reducing milk. We are a dairy, white bread, full fat kind of house. We like our carbs with a side of carbs and cheese and milk..... well, Elly and her Dad love their milk. Me, I love my dairy, but rarely drink milk - which may be why we didn't see signs of any sort of milk intolerance in Elly when she was an infant. Given that I didn't consume it a ton, she didn't get it.

So why now? Why blame the milk?

I had literally been thinking lately that Elly's milk in take was off the charts. Like seriously ridiculous. She was drinking it like water and given that she only drinks milk and water, it was pretty significant. Even enough that others were noticing too. So between her increase in milk consumption and the pretty significant onset of eczema it was a fair thing to consider a little diet change in our pursuit to being itch free.

We have tried the rice milk and the almond milk - neither of which have passed the test. The only thing I've managed to do is scare Elly off of any milk in our house, so now she only drinks water. Even if I split it, she claims it's not right. Which she's kind of right because we've also taken the opportunity to drop our milk of choice to 1% from 2%.

So after a week with strictly reduced milk intake, but not complete dairy elimination we have seen a great improvement in her skin. Her Belly has nearly all cleared up, while the spots that were worse are still on the mend and improved by 50% or more.

The clerk at the store made a comment about eczema only being the external reaction to something internally that was much more significant - so with that we continue to try and reduce the milk intake because if the mess we saw was any indication of something worse on the inside, our poor kids insides were in rough, rough shape.

This week not only saw the demise of milk, it also saw the introduction of "school" into our child care routine. Mondays and Fridays Elly attends her new Montessori school and she's doing GREAT! I want to say she loves it, but I don't think we're quite there yet. She definitely is enjoying it though. Both days her end of day reports were very positive and the teachers are very optimistic about her transition into the routine. She sits and enjoys circle time, she talks with her new friends, she eats well and she participates.

Friday she had one pee accident, which the teachers say was likely due to distraction while playing. Her only challenge seems to be sleep. The first day she slept for 30mins before a kid in another room woke her and her second day she didn't sleep at all. However, I'm told that she laid in her cot for an hour or more quietly without bothering anyone and just 'rested'. There's no denying that this kid knows what she's supposed to do when it comes to nap/bed time - more on that soon.

We also enjoyed our 2nd gymnastics class this week. I was high on excitement from the class last week and feared disappointment this week. Fortunately that was NOT the case. Elly is seriously LOVING it and so am I. I totally want to take gymnastics again. It's only been 25 years, surely it must just be like riding a bike - right?

This week we had some slightly modified circuits from last week. Just enough to switch it up, but not enough to throw the kids off.

This air floor was a big hit as you can clearly see. I can't believe how much air she's actually getting. Mind you, it was a pretty bouncy floor and I think I coulda got some pretty good height if I let myself really giver - lol. I had to take it easy though given the fact that this is after all for her, and not for me.

I've counted us pretty lucky that Elly hasn't been much of a climber. Sure she climbs a little, but really she never really understood the power and the value of using her feet to climb and not her knees. This little exercise is sure to bite us in the butt down the road, now that she has learned some basic climbing principles.

Hop Scotch was lost on her, but she enjoys these little lumps that she needs to walk across and often likes to attempt the first one on her own, but it quick to look for the hand of support.

The balance beam circuit is a fun one too. There are 3-4 beams that they have to go across. Elly is good for the first two, but is kinda over it by the 3rd and never made it to the 4th this week. The thing with her, is that she doesn't just want to walk a straight line. She wants to jump on it, crawl on it, big step and little step on it. She does enjoy it though.

And Jumping... anywhere and everywhere please.

Hooray!!! This really captures pretty much the entire hour of class right here.

Saturday after gymnastics I needed an activity to keep her busy. I recently read about making your own "cloud dough" on another blog, so I thought I'd give it a go. I think giving her anything to make a mess with would have been fine. Although the cloud dough was a pretty big hit. It got pretty messy and took a little extra effort with the vacuum cleaner to get it out from the cracks in the hard wood, but it all cleaned up. However, I should warn anyone who opts to make this and not put down some kind of mat on their floor - beware, it really gives a little coating to your floor and makes it a little slippery. I should mention for those interested. The recipe is simple - 8 cups Flour. 1 Cup Baby Oil. It's like playing with a really soft play dough/sand cross.

Hard at work.

A little pre-bedtime snuggles...

Closely followed by the bedtime meltdown, crying fits, and pleas to pee, poop, get water, eat or any other strategy that she thinks might get me to stay in her room, at her side, preferably in her bed all night long. Fortunately, while she has her fit she stays in bed. She seems to know that getting out is crossing the line.

She is without a doubt testing her boundaries. Night one was the biggest test on my nerves. Fortunately, it was just one night. Now I'm aware of her tactics and we've got a counter plan in place.

Oh yes... one last thing. A little collection of pictures and video from her play date today. We are so truly blessed to have found such a great group of Moms and kids to grow up with.

For all you Paper lovers, party planners and photographers!

2012-01-17T21:22:00.000-05:00

I have spent the last three nights on the phone with my long time friend Allison. We haven't chatted away hours like this in a long time, it's been great. What was even greater was combining our skills to help promote a new business that she's starting up.

The Creative Sparrow Paperie currently just lives on Facebook, but will soon have a website. Whether you're planning a baby shower, wedding shower, birthday or retirement party, Allison can help provide creative, unique handcrafted accessories for all occasions. Including season banners that are a great addition for studio props for photographers - and she can ship across North America!

Please check her out and go "like" her page on Facebook

OEYC Assessment

2012-01-17T16:25:00.000-05:00

The Ontario Early Years Centre in partnership with the Halton Preschool Speech and Language offers FREE speech assessments. All you have to do is sign up and away you go. Given that Elly has never been in a centre care environment and it's Free I thought I'd take advantage of it, if for no other reason then to acquire a few resources for down the road.

And that's pretty much what happened. We went in, spoke with the assessor for a few minutes, she asked Elly some questions, we had Elly point out some stuff in a book and Elly played for a little while. She appears to be right on track and all is good. Elly is very good at saying "Elly does this." or "Elly does that", so the suggestion is to start helping her introduce "I", "Me" and "Mine". Which interestingly enough was something I was thinking we should start moving towards anyway.

I also got a print out and a little booklet with other tips, tricks and milestones to aim for. Not a terribly eventful experience, but that's just what we were looking for.

Grateful to have these sorts of resources available, that's for sure.

Aced it!

2012-01-16T17:20:00.000-05:00

So while I anxiously sat trying to fill my day with activities in anticipation of a phone call that never came, Elly was busy making friends, playing, listening, speaking up for herself and conquering her first day of school.

Yes there were some tears at the beginning and even a few after her nap. But in the end she did it and aced it with flying colours. She told the teacher when she had to pee, she apparently knew her friends by name, something most adults wouldn't have been able to do in a morning. She was seen playing with friends in the play ground and apparently carrying on a conversation with some of them - seriously. She ate well, slept fine until another kid crying woke her up. But then proceeded to lay awake for an hour on her bed without stirring or anything.

I got two phone calls today with updates on how she was doing, which were both VERY, VERY much appreciated and even better when they came with good news.

I have no regrets for Elly's time in home day care. I fully believe it was a good transition for her and I into being apart. There isn't a shadow of a doubt though that the introduction of this school is even better for this time in her life. I think she is going to outgrow the toddler room very quickly and she is going to really enjoy the preschool room in two months when she moves up. She is currently the second oldest in the class and is the same size as the smallest kids who are a year or more younger then her.

Overall the day was a success and it's nice to have my nerves settle.

Oh the things she won't get to do

2012-01-16T14:56:00.001-05:00

I never really gave it much thought until recently reading an article online about all the things that Elly won't be able to relate to, or may not even get to do.

She won't know that a pencil can double as a tape rewinder... heck, she'll look at me cross eyed when I say tape.
When I tell her she sounds like a broken record, she'll have no point of reference and will more then likely ask what a record is before she goes back to repeating herself.
She'll never know the joys of sitting next to the radio waiting for the DJ to play her song so she can press record and tape it. Gosh, will she even know what "Tape it" means? I doubt it.
She won't know the joys of going to the video store to "rent" a video.
She won't be able to enjoy PB&J at school
She may never really know what it's like to spit watermelon seeds, given that most are seedless now.
She won't know the value of always having at quarter in case of an emergency for the phone.
She won't know what it's like to not wear sunscreen regular use of hand sanitizer.
She won't understand the value of paying with cash.
Rotary dial
Dial up modems
Getting lost and using a MAP for directions
Getting film developed
Being stuck on the phone and attached to the wall by a cord

The list goes on... feel free to add your own suggestions of what our kids won't experience.

First Day of Montessori School

2012-01-16T10:18:00.000-05:00

Well it finally came, our first day of school. We've spoke about it often over the last week with Elly, but not to the point it was on her mind constantly. She was pretty excited about the concept of going to school, but I don't think she had any idea that going to school meant Mommy abandoning her. I say abandon, because that is clearly the look that she gave me through her giant tear filled eyes this morning. Her eyes were the size of saucers and they filled up like a cartoon would with shiny glistening tears while her lower lip popped out and started quivering. Her expression clearly not happy, but completely aware of what was about to happen.

As I walked out of the room I could hear her calling for me and crying. It was hard to just walk away. I went upstairs and spoke with the other teacher for a few minutes and after a bit I couldn't hear her crying anymore. She's certainly been more upset in the past and it wasn't the most awful cries she's managed, but still very tough.

It's funny, when she was in home care i never really gave much thought to what she would be doing at any point in the day, aside from maybe acknowledging nap time. I suppose that's because I really had no idea what they were doing. Where as now, I'm spending all morning wondering what she's doing now. I think, they should be outside playing... gosh, I hope she's having a wonderful time and doesn't stay mad at me for too long.

Extra Curricular Activities

2012-01-15T21:11:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure at what point I made up my own rule, but it was that I was not going to register Elly for much of any sort of organized outside activity before the age of two for sure and was trying to hold out to three. Honestly, that was the idea. The concept was that she wouldn't be old enough to gain any benefits from the activity and I could likely do whatever it was at home or mimic with a few friends and a play date. In addition to the money saving reasoning, my fear also was that I didn't want to get into the routine of activities and too many activities that she'd be burnt out by the time she's 8. Clearly, I had a lot of random, not necessarily logical, but kind of made sense excuses that served their purpose for a while. I totally underestimated the smarts of a two year old, what they can handle and the benefits of some activities. As for the burn out... that's something we can control easily enough... or so I say now.

First came swimming... the kid loves water, she needs to learn and I thought that maybe at this stage we'd start to learn stuff that would be more then I could teach her through attending public swims. Although our first session in September was fun enough, I'll be honest, I'm kinda regretting spending the money on the second session. Elly is still attached to me and I don't foresee her letting go anytime soon. The objective of the class is for the kids to gain enough confidence to go with the instructor. Elly seems to fully get what we're trying to do and has no intention of cooperating anytime soon. Frankly, I'd be quite alright with just leaving her with the instructor and walking out of the pool. But the place is packed with a million lessons, the instructor is probably only 17 or something and a crying sobbing child and "tough love" doesn't always seem to be as warmly accepted when it's "their" lessons being interrupted.... or so the glances and the vibe I get when i've barely attempted in the past. Not to mention, I don't want her to start to hate swimming because I abandon her in the pool and she's upset and scared and whatever. The kid LOVES the water, does amazing with me, is confident and courageous and wiling to try new things. I come out of the mix and she's a blubbering mess that only wants out of the pool. A serious waste of money if she's not going to participate. Here's hoping that over the next 8 weeks she'll gain a little more confidence and be willing to start being a little more independant.

Our newest extra curricular activity is gymnastics. Having taken gymnastics myself as a kid, it's always held a special place in my heart. But again, i didn't want to get her in too early if it wasn't going to work out. It was very important to me that she have a certain level of understanding and willingness to participate.

Our local gym club offers a parent tot gym class, clearly needed given that Elly wasn't going to give up Mom at swimming and surely wasn't likely to give me up at something this new to her. I have long heard many local parents complain about the price of the gymnastics classes and I've considered alternatives. However, in the end I came to realize that many of the alternate programs offered are half the time (30min vs. 60min) and not always in an actual gym facility. This one is in a club, the class is 60mins and is only more expensive because it's more time spent doing stuff and well it's great! I see the value in my dollar spent and I guess that's ultimately what it comes down to.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I can assure you that our first gymnastics class exceeded anything I could have come up with. The inside of the club is nearly as I remember it from 25 years ago - YIKES! There were lots of kids there, but due to the size of the facility and how they've got people scheduled and rotating stations it never felt crowded or rushed. Aside maybe from the one little boy who had to race through each activity and was inevitably hot on Elly's tale, with his Mom in tow, both invading my personal space.... Elly, fortunately didn't seem to care and didn't change her pace in the slightest. It was her turn(s) and she was happy to take her allotted time.

Our activities at gymnastics brought together a series of circuits that included hanging from uneven bars and trying to bring your toes up to the bar, tip toeing across dots on the floor, climbing, tumbling, trampoline, sponge pit, balance beams, jumping, falling and a parachute. Elly stayed focused in all the activities for the full hour. You could watch her assess everything and gain her confidence so that I could just be beside her and not holding her hand the whole time. She warmed up enough to the teacher that the teacher could hold her hand on the trampoline, but not enough for her to trampoline all by herself with the teacher. Granted, her love of jumping and her love to have me at her side really gave her a run for her money. I'm hoping in no time she'll be doing even more on her own and she won't want to have a thing to do with me.

Between the gymnastics and the new start tomorrow at Montessori there is just so much new and fun stuff happening. It's exciting and taking a little adjusting for Mom. I really do believe in the value of the changes that we're bring for Elly. I want her to have the best foundation and be a confident little kid down the road and it's looking like our choices are really going to give this kid wings. It's going to be incredible to watch, and maybe even a little hard to let go of that little baby. She's a kid now. It's official. There's no going back.

For a kid with hip dysplasia you sure wouldn't know it.
http://youtu.be/dE7uIVQhDgA

Video

2012-01-14T18:42:00.001-05:00

So Frigging Amazing

2012-01-12T23:09:00.000-05:00

The other day my brother shared this link with me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M

You sooooooo have to watch it.

I then went onto watch other videos, then more and more people on my news feed on FB started posting stuff about these guys. I can't wait to see them on the national shows. It's incredible, I feel like I'm watching a shooting star shoot from the ground up.... maybe it's that much more incredible because they're from my home town.

Regardless, it's awesome, just totally awesome and I had to share.

Still Elly Underpants and Christmas lights

2012-01-10T22:27:00.000-05:00

Double checked today. When asked, she is still Elly Underpants. So darn cute!

Today was our grand return to swimming in hopes that we'll be able to ween her of me in the pool. Nine weeks to meet our goal. Although today was "better" in that she didn't totally freak out to go with the instructor and went down the slide herself. She totally knows what we're up to and sees right through us. I don't imagine she'll be giving me up anytime soon. Especially with the transition to the new school on Monday.

Granted, I keep talking to her about her new school and she seems quite excited at the concept. She remembers the place had a yellow door and we talk about the park and the candy canes (decorations they still had out). She seems to understand that she'll be going there, but I'm not sure she'll be as happy when I leave her behind. Oh well, at least for her first day I have the day off, so if she needs rescuing I'm just a phone call away.

Oh yes... and Christmas. How many more days till Christmas? I think I'm literally going to have to do the math. EVERY SINGLE DAY she asks about the Christmas lights. I've tried to explain to her that they're for a special occasion and they don't come back till next Christmas. I've told her that before we have Christmas again we have to have Birthdays for all our family members, including herself. Summer time swimming outside, Easter, this WINTER and Halloween. She is now on me about when Halloween is and when we can put out the cemetery with the bones. There is no sign of loosing momentum on this line of questioning anytime soon. I can totally see she is her Father's daughter on this one as she tries to figure out how we can find any sort of loop holes to get the Christmas lights back up ASAP.

Heading to "School"

2012-01-09T12:55:00.000-05:00

I have long valued the structure, routine and education that comes from organized daycare. More specifically "Centres". As much as I would like to live life in a bubble that kept our little family together forever and always, I recognize that home can offer only so much.

While part of me cringes at the fact that we often expect our children to behave "properly" like mini adults from such an early age and wants to boycott such expectations. The other part of me sees that a degree of conformity to todays society is also important.

My return to school fortunately coincided with a time when I felt it was time to start integrating Elly into more social learning situations, like daycare. Although I was initially very much in favour of sending her to a centre, things changed and before I knew it she was in exactly the opposite environment then I expected her to be in - but I was happy and so it seemed was she.

Our home day care provider has a heart bigger than most and is wonderful with Elly and the rest of her children. With 5 kids of her own (8-22yrs) she has a Mother's touch that no amount of education can give a person. Elly talks about her friends and her provider with much joy, but there has always been a part of me that has wanted to see her in a centre.

Friday I was compelled to check out a Montessori Centre just down the street from our house. Honestly, I have no idea why I didn't check it out sooner. But for whatever reason, I guess it hadn't been meant to be until now. Friday, I walked in, asked if they had spots, got the pricing, set up a tour for Monday morning and that was it.

Today I toured, finalized the paper work, asked a few questions and informed our current provider that Elly will be graduating to Montessori school. I was terrified that I would have to explain myself or justify her departure or fib or something. But it was easy, just like everything else that has come from this particular adventure. I told her the opportunity came upon me faster than i expected and was falling into place as though it was meant to be and that Elly would be attending this new school and the provider was thrilled and so happy for Elly. She assured me at how wonderful Montessori is and how Elly will excel and do great and how it's a wonderful opportunity. She even accepted a single weeks' notice instead of the two week one we had agreed upon in her contract.

It was that simple. It happened so fast and so easily. I even told Elly this morning that next week she's going to get to go to school and her eyes lit up like silver dollars. "School" is where the big kids go. She knows what "school" is and she is so excited to be going.

I can only hope she's just as excited come Monday when I leave her there.

Me, I need to get a hold of myself as the whole things feels right, but still makes me tear up. I can't believe we're here already.

Star tails and Elly Underpants

2012-01-08T20:22:00.000-05:00

I really should carry around a note pad with me these days to help keep track of the silly and amazing things Elly does to make us laugh and warm our hearts.

We are trying to teach Elly her full name. Her translation of our last name in her head makes her Elly Underpants. Aside from being three syllables, there really is no direct correlation to how this came to be. It's cute none the less.

Yesterday we attended a Fairy and Pirate combo party for friends of ours. It was a wonderful party, although Elly wasn't too comfortable with participating and sitting with all the other kids. She much preferred to observe from the sideline in the comfort of my lap. She eventually got dressed up like a fairy like the other girls, but it was a long time before she decided she wanted to dress up too. The party fairy named all the little fairy girls. Elly was princess Violet. Aptly named given her purple outfit. At then end of the party each fairy received a fairy pouch with pixie dust (sparkles), Shooting star tails (tinsel) and a fairy forever flower (synthetic flower).

We had to put a ribbon on Elly's pouch so she could wear her's for a necklace when she got home. We also take out one star tail for her to sleep with as apparently this will keep her safe.

The last three weeks home have been an amazing treat to reconnect with our little angel, but it's back to school this week and to a new daycare in a couple weeks for Elly. I haven't been able to shake this desire/need to have her in a centre and found a Montessori one very close to our place that isn't that much more expensive then where she was. It's going to be a sad transition, but I know in my heart it's the right thing to do.

Oh yes, and today we went to Mounstberg to see the birds of prey exhibit. Elly loved the owls and spoke to each of the display ones "who, who, who!" She was also pretty fascinated with the bird show were we saw a bald eagle and a merlin falcon.

The gift of an Angel

2012-01-05T11:08:00.002-05:00

Since the loss of our angel I have frequently wondered if he is still with us. Given the depth of the sorrow we've experienced, I have developed a wall that surrounds my heart to keep it safe. Unfortunately this is the same wall that keeps me out and hinders my connection to my angels and often to myself. I continue to hope that with time, the wall will shrink and that one day I will be able to return to that place where I could access my heart on a whim and have faith and trust in what it has to tell me.

Because of this wall when ever I do get "signs" I will often disregard them. I'm not sure why, you'd think I'd want to hold onto them with all of my heart. But the truth is, sometimes I'm too blind to see them, other times too weak to be able to have the faith to believe in them.

Over the holidays I took many pictures while at our family cottage. One morning I went into the forest and took a collection of pictures facing into the sun, knowing that the camera lens would most likely give me some interesting reflections. When I later showed them to my mom, she was quick to identify the reflections as orbs and fairies. I was equally as quick to think she was crazy and just seeing what she wanted to see - the wall was in full force.

However, I could not dispute that although I had collected many reflections in a series of pictures, I had a couple of pictures that really did have something different about them and when I let my heart open up a little bit, I too could feel that there was something special about those moments in the forest and the images that I captured.

Still a little hesitant, I thought to touch base with our minister that did the service for Emmett and who herself had claimed to have an incredible experience with Emmett's energy. When I sent her the pictures her response was an overwhelming yes, that these were in fact "orbs" and that one in particular was an incredible angelic one with colours like she rarely gets to see. More specifically it is Emmett coming to share his beauty and show us that all is as it should be. She claims the specialness of these pictures is quite substantial.

The tiny skeptic in me, tells me both the minister and my Mom are officially off their rockers and they'll believe just about anything - sorry Mom. Fortunately my heart out muscles the skeptic and it tells me to look closer, dream and BELIVE. Most importantly it says to enjoy that I not only got to spend those beautiful morning moments with my angels, but that I was incredibly lucky enough to have a picture of him to remember it by.

My conclusion is simple. I can remain a skeptic and never believe in angels. Or I can welcome this gift into my heart and enjoy it. "Real" or not, it doesn't matter because it's the gift of faith that warms my heart and helps me heal. It's that same faith that some carry in what they call "God". I need not question who their God is, I simply just need to be happy for them because that Faith guides them to the greater good.

The original photo

A close up of the "angelic orb energy" that I'm told is Emmett coming to reassure us that all is well. The minister also pointed out the shape of angel wings. This was one of 3 orbs in the photo and is from under the sun towards the top.

Video

2012-01-04T12:08:00.000-05:00

A little catch up... again

2012-01-03T21:04:00.000-05:00

Tonight on our way to the car from her grandparents, Elly was quick to take note of the moon and the first star of the night as she exclaimed - MOON! Quickly followed by "Star light, star bright.... murmur, murmur and she mumbled the rest. Yet continued to talk loudly about the stars and the moons. Not just loudly, but quickly too. It was hard to keep track of what she was saying, thus hard to translate what she was saying into understandable english. I eventually caught on that the kid was insistent that she CATCH a star.

When asked how she would catch a star, her response was quick and simple - With a fishing Wod. When asked what she would do with said star, it would go in her pocket.

Seriously? When did we get a kid that not only spoke, but made sense, had an imagination and carried more common sense then any adult I know. - Of course one would catch stars with fishing rods and they'd be easy to keep in our pockets to play with whenever it suited us.

Her imagination doesn't stop there. While we were up north she turned a side coffee table into an oven and cooked cakes and cupcakes and cookies and muffins and even the odd carrot for all of us. She didn't need any props, just her imagination and god forbid you didn't participate and eat your imaginary food that she'd slaved over. Each item took "20mins" to cook according to the chef, but I'd argue that it was more like 20 seconds.

Concepts, words, thoughts, arguments, discussions.... she can hold her own. She knows when to play "dumb" and just repeat yes to every question. And she knows when to speak up and tell us like it is. Her imagination takes her on amazing little adventures and we're incredibly lucky to be able to come along for the ride.

Hide and seek continues to be a BIG favourite in our house. Like most kids her age, hiding for the most part is her not being able to see us, but she's getting pretty good with finding spots and has taken a liking to being the seeker and not just the hider. Although my favourite is playing hide and seek in the car where she just takes her blanket and throws it over her eyes and has clearly disappeared.

Her fits of giggles are contagious and I do what I can to ensure that she has at least one uncontrollable fit of giggles once a day. I've decided it's on the top of my list of things to make sure she has a great childhood.

As we ease our way back into routine after the holidays I'm sad that I'm going to be missing the hours of fun and play that we've been able to enjoy, but at the same time I'm eager to get this learning train on the go.

It's so rewarding having things that we love in our lives, but hard to try and keep them all balanced just right.

Welcome 2012

2012-01-02T21:21:00.000-05:00

Welcome 2012! Who knows what you will have in store for us. Be ware that whatever you throw our way, we will take it in stride and prevail.

We spent the past week up at our Family cottage, relaxing, laughing and having fun. We enjoyed the most picturesque winter wonderland and amazing weather. Everything that winter should be.

I have a love for these signs. No matter what the season, I just love photographing them.

Elly got the hang of the snow pretty quick and loved being outside. Unfortunately some of the days were -25ºC, so certainly not kid friendly for any extended periods of time. She was pretty good about telling us when she was cold and ready to go in.

We bundled up with Babi and had our first crazy carpet tobogganing experience. Given Elly's love for slides, I expected her to enjoy the ride a little more than she did. I think maybe it picked up pace a little too quickly and when I instinctually pulled in the carpet when we went over a bump, I may have pulled it into her face a little. Not enough to hit her, but enough to invade her space.

Elly has a love for flashlights. She has two of her own normally that she can play with whenever she wants. When she somehow discovered the head-lights, she was instantly in love and wanted to wear it the whole time. We finally got it off of her with the promise of her being able to wear it when it got dark out. This promise was at 9am. Imagine our surprise when at 5:30 after her nap, the moment she realized it was dark out, she quickly asked for the head light and continued to wear it for an hour.

She enjoyed using her beach toys in the snow, but had some challenges with the mitten limitations. I should note how impressed I was with how quickly she grasped the concept of keeping her scarf over her face warm. I suppose the cold weather was incentive enough.

She loved her snow wagon rides and was quite content to have me trudge along for quite some time.

Once she went down for her nap, I was quick to take advantage of the snowy tobogganing weather. I went twice a day at least if I could. It didn't matter if I was sliding down the driveway, the neighbours yard onto the lake, or down a rather large hill, across a road and into a ditch. It was amazing and I must say climbing hills is an amazing workout and zooming down head first a wonderful thrill. And thanks to those head lamps we weren't limited in out sledding to just day light hours. Night tobogganing was a blast!

Whoosh!

What a fabulous relaxing finale to the end of one of the most emotionally and physically demanding years of my life. It was so fulfilling to play like a kid again. Not play with kids, but truly play like a kid and let free.

Elly continued to amaze us daily. Her vocabulary surprises us, her grammar is growing, everything is going better than we could have ever imagined. She is a smart, beautiful little girl that continues to remind us daily about how blessed we are to have her in our lives.

And... I should probably take note that this trip was the first trip she managed to do accident free on the commute to and from the cottage. Our trip was 6hrs to get there and 5hrs home and she was great at keeping dry the whole time.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-24T08:22:00.000-05:00

From our family to yours, we wish you the very merriest and a very happy new year. I thank you for all your support and for coming back regularly to check in on how we're doing. 2012 will surely be an exciting year and I look forward to sharing it with you all.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas minus one

2011-12-23T14:26:00.000-05:00

It was important to me to find an memorial ornament for Emmett this year. I looked around and actually bought two as I thought they would do the trick. However, today we were fortunate enough to find just what I was looking for. Something special, dated, pretty and not religious. I know it's the perfect one because it makes me cry. The others didn't quite hit the same spot.

Christmas day is generally quite a busy day for us. We're fortunate because all our family is within 10kms of each other, but that only means we get to be here there and everywhere. Generally we enjoy a couple of hours in the afternoon where we can relax before moving onto the next round of celebrations. This year however we have a new tradition to introduce as we will need to head to the cemetery to have a Christmas visit with our dear angel.

Today we had an arrangement made by a local florist. It's beautiful and it really warms up the headstone.

It's hard knowing that we could have had a 10 month old right now.... or 6 month old had things gone even better. However, for all the challenges that 2011 has given us, we have prevailed and are still standing.

Paparazzi catch up!

2011-12-22T14:56:00.001-05:00

Some days, this says it all.

But then she gives you a look like this, and you're like, alright. Fine. You win.

Then she does her little happy dance in her dancing skirt and you give up all hope of ever being able to resist her.

And your heart melts when you realize her best friend is the dog.

When she helps to decorate the tree and insists on doing it her way, who are you to say otherwise and stifle her creativity? Because it's seriously just too darn cute.

And creative she is. Is it worth the fight to say she can't wear her sun hat, pants and pj's to bed? Nope, totally not.

When she offers to help decorate the cake, its tempting to say no for fear that she's going to stick her hand in the cake. Then you realize, that really, all she wants to do is decorate it with as many candles as she can fit on. Nothing wrong with that.

Pride kicks in when you find her laying on your bed with her feet up, just reading because she wants to.

Somehow you manage to hold back a smile and stick to your ground - No cookies before bed!

Elly has an incredible pull towards children that are smaller then her. She's amazingly gentle and just wants to help however she can.

Miracles. Each one of them. Special, special miracles.

I love how she is learning to play with others.

So that's it.... a little paparazzi catch up being that it's been too long and really this stage, just like every stage is so truly amazing.

An Angel for Emmett

2011-12-17T23:07:00.000-05:00

Our first Christmas. Thank You Grandma for the ornament.

Making sure to remember the little moments

2011-12-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

I swear it wasn't that long ago that even with a stool she couldn't reach the sink. She's growing up so fast I can't help but want to put aside a few random moment pictures to save for another day.

What an Imagination

2011-12-16T23:10:00.000-05:00

Today was the last day of my first semester. I can't believe how quickly time has flown given that I've actually been awake for a third more hours in the day then I used to be.

Tonight I got a glimpse into a little of what I have indadvertedly missed in my quest to juggle a million and one things. I sat in awe as Elly instructed me that she was getting plates and cutlery for our picnic in our tent in the family room as she reached for her imaginary drawer. She then proceeded to get us toast and honey, eggs, milk, cheese and cookies. We went shopping in the hall way, put groceries in our imaginary cart and picnicked in our tent in the dark because it was night time in the family room.

Not only did our little girl acquire enough words to clearly communicate with me, but she also got an imagination that allowed her to guide me for nearly two hours as we went on adventures and enjoyed wonderful imaginary meals.

So as I sit here thinking about all the things I could do over the Christmas break for school, I can't help but reminded that I need to take advantage of this time to spend with Elly and my family. After all, they're the reason I decided to do what I'm doing.

What an amazing evening. Absolutely amazing.

The Big Man in Red

2011-12-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

Today was deemed the day to finally go and see the big man in red. Not for any particular reason, seemed just as good a day as any.

When we got to the mall the line was pretty big. I couldn't help but think of "A Christmas Story" a little bit and chuckle to myself. Elly was going to have nothing to do with standing in line and waiting for some guy we called Santa for 30mins. So we went around to the front of his area and watched as all the other kids went up and sat on his knee. As we watched he would wave at her in between kids and she really seemed to be getting excited about having her "turn" to see Santa.

Alas, the excitement wore off pretty quick. I suppose the good news was that she let us put her on his lap and didn't really freak out and make a complete scene.

Must be her Mother's Daughter

2011-12-12T20:30:00.000-05:00

Seems Elly has a little creativity in her. Today after getting dressed she insisted on wearing her painting shirt and dancing skirt.

FOR THE ENTIRE DAY!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately the hat did eventually come off.

A Funny Day

2011-12-06T23:08:00.000-05:00

Today was a funny kind of day. Not terribly eventful. Had I not been paying attention I could have missed quite possibly the cutest moment ever.

It's not new that Elly sings to herself. Most often she prefers to sing Happy Birthday or Twinkle Twinkle. Every now and again she'll go for something else, but usually it's based on something that we sing frequently - or should I say, something I SING frequently.

Today I could hear a mumble coming from the family room while I was in the kitchen doing something. When I peaked around the corner I watched as Elly sang to herself in a rhythmic manner and twirled around the room with her arms waving gently in the air.

The lyrics to her song you ask?

"Yellow, Green, Yellow, Green, Green, Yellow, Yellow Green"

Seriously adorable, if only the video camera had of been accessible at the time.

Our evening had me entertained at her last swimming class - we won't be graduating to the next level. Although Elly was most likely the top of her class in terms of comfort in the water and what she was able to do, she wouldn't give me up and go with the instructors, so that means we're back to Timid Toddlers next session to see if we can get her some independent confidence. With that said, today she managed to get the courage to return to the slide which was nice as she used to love it so much, but hasn't been on it in ages. And today she did her "blast offs" by herself. Which means, she held onto the side of the pool. Put her knees up to her chest and her feet up on the wall and pushed off on her back without any assistance. She sank quickly and had to be plucked back up, but not before she rolled herself over under water and kicked her feet vigorously. Who knows how quickly she may have resurfaced, it wasn't something I was ready to wait for just yet.

Our last entertainment came at her 10pm check in.

Little miss somebody was insistent on taking her pants to bed. Seems she felt it necessary to wear them, but never quite managed to get them up over her jammies. The crazy thing... this isn't the first time she's wanted to wear layers to bed. What a nut.

I love this kid!!!

2011-12-03T15:50:00.000-05:00

Thanks Dad for capturing these fun moments!

Drinking from the firehose

2011-12-02T00:18:00.000-05:00

A had lunch with a long lost college friend a couple weeks ago. It had been nearly 10yrs since our last encounter and really I think we did a pretty awesome job picking up where we left off. It was such a delight.

As I shared all the things I've been enjoin these days he simply replied, sounds like you're drinking from the fire hose. You know, you won't be able to do that forever.

Such wise words, so accurate and so true.

Life is crazy these days, which really isn't all that new. Having said that it's a new kind of new. I miss spending my days with Elly terribly, but at the same time I just LOVE what I'm doing and how inspired that I've become that I can't help but to keep drinking from the fire hose in hopes of taking it all in.

Elly continues to amaze us daily. The statements and observations she makes are unbelievable and always so unexpected. Along with a reminder that we have to watch what we say as her little ears are always open and listening.

She and I have had some tougher days lately. She's not a big fan of the fire hose concept - I don't blame her. So she fights back a little more. Between her age and the changes we've introduced it's been a big transition and every once in a while she kicks up her heals and digs in. Inevitably this happens when I've had a particularly insane day and she seems to know exactly what buttons to press. In the end leaving me feeling terribly guilty for not being able to better manage my emotions and respect that she just needs a little more attention and love.

Christmas has become a very exciting time in our house and really, she hasn't seen anything yet. We just have the outside lights on and that's enough to put her in a silly frenzy daily. I can't wait till we get our tree.... which I hope is soon given that we're hosting our annual xmas family potluck a week tomorrow. Seriously bad timing on my part with my school schedule. But it's a potluck and really, it's the company that matters, which there will be plenty of.

Last week of swim lessons next week - we won't be graduating. No way Elly is going to give up swimming with Mom. Which means I need to get a new swim suit for the new year : )

Anywho... another late night, but a marvellously productive day. Off to bed for me.

Hip Update

2011-11-23T12:46:00.001-05:00

Today was our third and last hip appointment for 2011. The year stared off with concern that the ball of the joint hadn't arrived. By June it had appeared and a weight was lifted off our shoulders and a slight breeze put into our sails. Maybe, just maybe we were going to make it through this without further issue and we'd finally turned a corner.

Today showed us we're stuck on the bend. We started turning that corner, but we've now come to a stop.

click to view larger image with captions

Our X-ray shows the following:

Right Side:

Socket is deep enough and angle is good.
Ball of the joint is a good size and tucks nicely into the joint.
The head of the femur is angled in and snug into the pelvis

Left Side

Socket remains a little shallow
Angle is 28º. Should be under 20º for her age.
Ball of the joint is a good size, but it's 'hanging out' more than it should. See the right side how it tucks in nicely.
The head of the femur should be angled down more and not as far out from the pelvis.

What does this mean?
It means we go for a second opinion back to her surgeon to see if she will require a new surgery. From my understanding at this point the new surgery would involve grafting bones to extend the femur head and the length of the socket to help canopy the joint.

Dr. B told us if a patient came in at her age with no prior treatment with this X-ray it would be surgery for sure. However, due to her history, her range of motion, the fact that she appears to have no challenges, that it's quite possible that both she and the other surgeon will agree that surgery will not be recommended and they'll continue to follow her.

When asked about long term repercussions, she said it likely wouldn't be until the age of 16-18 that they may encounter some troubles.

So, where does this leave us?

A little deflated. We were really hoping that with the arrival of the ball of the joint back in the spring that we'd be cleared of surgeries and challenges.

I don't like when the ball gets put in our court and it's up to us to make the decision as to whether or not we want to proceed with another surgery in the next year. If we do it may or may not help. If we don't it may or may not matter.

Whatever the case, however we move forward, I really just want to be able to do so without any regrets down the road.

So for now, we wait patiently and hope for the best. I guess.... and who knows, maybe seek a 3rd opinion to ensure whatever direction we go in we do it for the right reasons. I don't want to not pick surgery because it will be a tough 3 months. I really need to make the choice based on the long term values.

Better

2011-11-22T23:12:00.000-05:00

It took some time, but she finally is back to her old self. Phew! I swear every time she gets sick I think to myself - this is it. We're done. It was fun while it lasted. Our luck has finally run out and and our good kid has turned rotten. It's the terrible two's don't you know. Then I come to realize she's sick and in time she gets better and returns to her happy go lucky, generally well behaved self.

Last week was rough though. It was one of the most demanding weeks on me so far. There were a few tears, but in the end, we made it.

Elly is doing great in her swimming... well, with the swimming part at least. She has no interest in swimming without Mom, so we'll likely not be moving forward to the next level. Oh well. I figure as long as I'm as busy as I am and our time is limited together she's not going to give up any time with Mom, no matter how much she loves the water. I'm thinking we may pass on the next round of classes and just try and do some weekday swimming on our own and practice what we've learned. Hopefully my next semester schedule will lend itself to such fun.

She got over it

2011-11-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Elly's still sick. She can't seem to kick this fever. It comes and goes along with her appetite. It's also left her with a messed up sleep cycle.

Last night she was up at 3:00am, then again at 4:30. At 3:00, I was able to get her back down without her getting out of bed. At 4:30, she insisted on squeezing out a pee, then wanted to go downstairs, play in the basement, go see Dad, let Maggie out, look out the window, dance and whatever else you can think of. Finally, fed up with this new behaviour that has become a little too common place in the past 3 weeks, I put down my foot. Apologized, but Mom had to sleep, which meant Elly had to sleep.

I told her she was welcome to stay up all night, but if that was the case, she'd have to do it by herself and in her bed. Then I walked out of the room and close the door behind me to tears and cries for MOMMY!!!!

I'll be honest, I'm not sure how long it went on for. I don't suspect too long because I fell back asleep rather quickly. She may have laid there for an hour awake, or gone back to sleep. Either way she didn't stir again till 7:15 - thank God.

By the time I got home at the end of a particularly stressful day, she was back to her warm welcoming self and seemed to harbour no ill feelings from our run in earlier.

I'm officially a big meanie, but seriously. She's playing the two year old game well and being feverish is playing to her advantage. I had been giving in, but tonight was back to being the meany who wouldn't let her watch TV after a particularly wicked marathon over the past two days. Incredibly, two minutes later she was fine and we enjoyed a wonderful evening of books, cuddles and even some silly time.

Beware, this kid is cute and smart and she'll play you like a violin the moment you give her a chance.

Non- Recoverable

2011-11-15T17:41:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago the hard drive on my desktop computer went. I have moved most of my active work to my laptop over the past year just because the other software was outdated. I'd also been reasonably diligent about keeping my client files on a separate hard drive, but I never did get around to backing up my photos. This means I lost all the original digital files of Elly's first year.

That's the bad news.

The good news. I had printed a bunch. I had uploaded them here and I uploaded to my kodak account. So not ALL is lost, but there are certainly a few months of files that are just gone.

So for the sake of making sure I keep various backups and don't loose precious memories to technology, I figure I best be sure to get better at including more pictures in my posts :)

Enjoy.

Whoooops!

2011-11-12T20:35:00.000-05:00

Well it seems juggling a million things and sleep deprivation finally caught up to us.

Last night we totally forgot to put Elly's diaper on her before she went to bed. Consequence - a very upset, cold and wet kid at 4:00am. Bigger consequence, starting one's day at 4:00am.

Somehow she made it all the way to 1:00pm for her regular nap time. Managed to nap for 4hrs and still went to bed without issue just after 8:00. Me, I also enjoyed a nice lengthy nap and now am trying to figure out where I'm going to find those extra 3hrs that were originally allotted to work/homework/computer time.

Guess, I should get to it.

Bad Dreams

2011-11-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week we transitioned with daylight savings time. The transition wasn't as seamless as we would have hoped for, but we survived and are grateful to finally have some sunshine in our mornings.

Last night we had our first "bad dream" experience. Around 4:30am Elly woke and was crying, but not her normal cry. I tried to wait her out, but she was persistent. So when I finally went to see her, I was met with a very upset child. I sat on the floor rocking her back and forth. I kept asking her what was wrong, but she was too upset to answer. Finally, through her tears she said "scared".

Heart breaking.

Jeepers, where does the time go?

2011-11-08T20:52:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks and woosh, time escapes us once again. Fortunately it hasn't been wasted, in fact quite the opposite, it's been maximized to it's fullest. My days continue to get longer and my nights shorter and somehow the sleep deprivation tactics of early Motherhood seems to have some how come in handy. As 1am-6:30am sleep cycles and full action packed days is hard work!

Now that we're well into life as a student/entrepreneur/parent (in no particular order) we're starting to see the effects of change on Elly.... or maybe it's just the uncanny timing with her turning two? Regardless, it hasn't been completely seamless and without it's challenges.

Before I forget! Halloween was a blast! Our "marketing efforts" have paid off and in 3yrs we've gone from 12 kids to 80 kids and I'm delighted! The only sad part is handing candy out by myself so that Jeff can take Elly around, so I don't really have anyone to enjoy it with (or help my spook the bigger kids). This year Elly was a butterfly, adorable of course. I'll have to dig out the few pictures I took and post them later as their on my other system.

In the past two weeks the words have been flowing like hot cakes. Sentences even. Overall she's becoming more clear in her speaking and more words connecting is making things make more sense. The addition of singing and dancing has also made for some serious entertainment.

Some of the most common and most frequently used statements from her these days include:

I do it.
Elly do it.
I'LL DO IT.

No Thank You.... I'll do it.

and, I CAN do it.

To say she's becoming independent would be an understatement. She is beyond the becoming part and is fully independent and wants to do everything her self. So, for the most part I let her unless it's unsafe. This has taken to requiring a smudge more patience and a little time management, but seems to be working. I could insist on her not doing a bunch of stuff, but instead I'd end up with a tantruming mess of a kid. And in letting her do stuff she's become more open to accepting help and she'll ask for help when she's ready.

Clearly Elly listens and understands so much more than we give her credit for, so for the most part I've been having some pretty good luck in her states of tantrums if I don't fight her, but ask her to try and tell me what's wrong. It's not always easy, but it seems to be helping. I then try to communicate some kind of agreeable solution - which is the harder part.

Patience is REALLY hard to come by when she's in a particularly independent and stubborn mood. Especially after too many late nights, early mornings and action packed days. It's REALLY REALLY hard. However, I'm noticing so much of a difference in her behaviour when I really do make the extra effort to dedicate uninterrupted time with her, so I work that much harder to be patient because for the most part when she's being a real peach I can often look back and see that I haven't been able to give her the time she's needed in the past day or two and she's just trying to get my attention.

Some entertaining stories that should be noted:

Not being able to find Elly and discovering her hiding behind the lazy suzan corner cupboard looking for snacks.
Dancing - not to be mistaken for running around in circles. It's dancing Mom.
She nearly always says Thank You.
Her putting a pile of Canadian Tire money on the floor and clearly making sure I look at her while she's talking as she waves her finger at me, points at the money and tells me "not to touch", then repeats it several times until I agree to her request.
Elly standing on the step of the pool and completely submerging herself under water to reach for a toy - over and over and over again. Granted, she wants nothing to do with the instructors and I don't know that I'll ever not have to be in the pool with her, but skill wise she's doing amazing!

Anywho.... I'd love to carry on further, but I've got home work and work-work to get done.

Night.

Real Stories, 5 week old Babies and "hurt"

2011-10-26T21:07:00.001-04:00

When our kids are really little, they cry in pain or discomfort. We can make educated guesses as to what may be wrong with them. When it's really bad we pray for the days when they'll be able to communicate more clearly with us what their problems are. While we're in the trenches we never think that day will come.

This morning Elly and I took a road trip to visit a little miracle baby and her Mama. Elly was amazing the entire day. No potty accidents in the car, no fits, no trouble at all. She was INCREDIBLE with the little 5 week old baby. So incredibly gentle and intrigued with this little angel. It was heart warming. On our car ride there Elly told me a story... not a jabbering non sense kind of story. But instead, a completely makes sense, I didn't have to ask leading questions kind of story. Her story was simple.

She has a friend at Tasha's House (the daycare). Who's name is Sophie and they play cars together.

It was the best story I've ever heard.

Our visit and the trip home were uneventful. She managed to stay awake the whole way home and albeit off schedule, went down for a nap and got back on schedule. Overall a great success.

This evening before bed she told me she had to pee and ran to the bathroom. I propped her up on her seat and sat down at her side as I normally do. When she finished peeing she asked me to rub her back. So I did, before I could ask her a question, she gave me the answer - poop. She had to poop, so I rubbed her back for her. Then she told she held my hand and told me "Poop Hurts" as she looked up into my eyes making as if to make sure I understand exactly what she was telling me.

Broke my heart!

We have long known that poop time is not an easy time for our little munchkin. I do what I can to pump her full of fresh fruits to keep her regularish and so she doesn't poop out giant grown up size rocks.

In the end, this evenings events weren't too bad for her. It was such a mix of emotions to have her verbally request what comfort I could offer while at the same time expressing the pain she experiences.

Poor Baby Girl.

Halloween Season is upon us!!!

2011-10-24T15:12:00.000-04:00

Up until this point scary halloween decorations weren't a big deal because Elly seemed unaware of them. This year she definitely has come to realize there is a cemetery in our front yard. This morning I had to assure her not to worry, that we could come play with the skeletons when we get home this afternoon.

It's been one year

2011-10-16T21:55:00.001-04:00

A year ago, apparently there was a night of passion and an unexpected miracle landed on our doorstep. It'll likely be about another week or two before the anniversary of me walking into the grocery store and thinking - wow, it hasn't smelled this good in here since I was ... pregnant.

I can honestly say that I could have NEVER in a million years imagined what a year could offer. I never expected to be pregnant, I could have never imagined delivering a sleeping angel. I had no idea how much a baby grows into a toddler within a year, or that her hips would finally round that corner towards positive progress. Nor, could I have imagined that I would actually want to return to school, let alone have the means to make it happen (thank you RRSP Lifelong Learning Plan and my friend Rebecca for pointing me in that direction).

To say this year has been a roller coaster would be an understatement. The extremes of emotions that we have experienced nearing impossible to manage, but somehow we did.

I sit here and wonder how given the loss we had to endure how I can still have this urge to constantly smile and I'm reminded that it's because we are so, so incredibly fortunate to have such an amazing daughter and amazing family and support system. It doesn't erase the sorrow. It doesn't take away the memories of delivering a sleeping angel, but it does give me the strength not to hide from my past.

True riches don't come in monetary units.

What will the next year bring? Who knows, who's to say. But what I can tell you, whatever comes, we will embrace it and learn from it. We will not take it for granted. We will continue to work hard to maintain the happiness that we have achieved and to help others achieve theirs.

Stopping By

2011-10-15T16:34:00.000-04:00

Boy, oh boy. Life sure is busy. As was to be expected given the return to school and managing two part-time gigs.

School is fun, learning again is amazing. Being inspired daily is fantastic. However, with so much going on it's been easy to forget that my return to school was NOT because I was unhappy with my career, but because I want to enhance it. With so much of a push at being an 'interactive web designer' and all the insane hours that one will have to sacrifice for success, it's easy to get anxious and say, but wait, I didn't sign up for that.

Reminded... I signed up for it... but my version. The version where I get to learn a whole bunch of cool stuff and still get to be me and keep my values and my vision for my future. Which is my family, my life and then my work. I just have to remind myself from time to time is all.

So last week, I played hooky on Thursday. Took the day off school projects and work stuff and just hung out with Elly. We went swimming, she napped for 3.5hrs and I made an amazingly delicious Prime Rib. It was awesome.

Today, we had a little fun with one of her halloween costumes.

This kid seriously cracks me up!!!!

She is such a ham and by golly growing up way too fast. Today she asked for a bite of my "Samich", then asked for her "hart" stickers instead of her "Staar" stickers.

Tomorrow we go and celebrate the Baby Buddies 2nd Birthday Party.

I can't wait.

Thanksgiving

2011-10-09T20:58:00.000-04:00

This weekend we have been able to celebrate Thanksgiving with the company of our family. Given the year that we've had it would be easy to reflect back and overlook what we have to be thankful for, but the truth is that this year has likely been one of the toughest years in my life, yet possibly the most rewarding at the same time.

It's hard to say it, but I am thankful to have lost, then to have never loved our little boy. Granted, I will forever wish that his sacrifice hadn't been necessary. I am thankful for every up, down and in between that life has given us and the gifts that they have each provided. Our lows have been low, but we're still on the upswing of many great things to come.

The transition back to school has been incredibly rewarding. Watching Elly grow into a marvellous little girl has made me so proud.

There really is so much to be thankful for.

Light... Dark... Stars.... MOOOON!!!!

2011-10-06T14:32:00.000-04:00

Elly is FASCINATED by the stars and the moon lately. With the changing seasons it's getting darker earlier and earlier. For some time now Elly has noticed the moon in the sky during the day, but it is only recently where she's got to see it in action and is MESMERIZED by it. As in for the past three nights she takes her mini chair, perches herself by the back door and stares at the moon for 10-15mins.

While she's moon gazing she asks me to go see the stars and will occasionally sing Twinkle, Twinkle to herself. If she's not at the backdoor staring into the night, she's off to explore rooms where the lights are off and it's 'dark'. She then proceeds to repeat dark, dark, dark, over and over again until either the light comes on, or she transitions to pointing to the ceiling and saying MOON! Which is often then followed by stars.

Be it stickers, illustrations or whatever, if it has a moon or stars on it she loves it. I must say that watching her gaze into the sky is pretty awesome though. It's like she can see the worlds potential.

Language

2011-10-05T15:41:00.000-04:00

Observing language develop has got to be one of the neatest things ever. It's so subtle and amazing. Somedays there are expectations, others there are none. Regardless there is rarely disappointment.

So much happens so quick, it's hard to live in the moment as the moments are quick to come and go.

Side Note: Our third week of swimming went very well. Little miss really enjoys it. She's so good at sitting at the pools edge and holding back her insane desire to jump right in. She waits until the teachers come on deck, then she gets ready to go. Once in the pool she's understanding the structure of class and waiting patiently for the "fun parts" and following instructions really well on the learning parts. She is certainly a fish! And LOVES her water. I am so glad that we waited on introducing "lessons" to swimming.

The Off Switch

2011-10-02T21:29:00.000-04:00

Given that there was no manual and most users claim that there is no such thing as an off switch for a toddler, I assumed they were right.

Imagine my surprise when I found they had been mislead!

I can't guarantee that every child has one, perhaps it's only our model or was a mistake. Regardless, it appears to be there. I even held off saying anything for a while thinking it was a fluke, but it's become pretty consistent and reliable, so I thought I'd share :)

I am NOT a fan of whining. I can tolerate a lot of things and a lot of noise, but whining is not one of them. When Elly whines, as she is after all a normal kid; it would drive me nuts. I'd tell her to stop is a variety of different ways and terminology and tones. For abrupt, to angry, to nice, to quiet to polite... I tried it all.

Then one day I said - "Elly, can you please turn the tears off." and she did. Just like that. Flip the switch and their off.

Sometimes she has to try a little harder, but you can see her as she regains her composure. It's amazing to watch really, but she can do it and she has consistently done it for a couple of weeks now.

She also climbs into bed when I tell her it's bed time or nap time, goes to her chair when it's dinner time, sits still when it's time to put her hair in a pony or piggies, puts on her shoes when it's time to go and goes pee on the toilet before we leave the house because 'it's protocol' and she knows it's the way things work.

I'm loving the big giant hugs and kisses that I get just because she's in the mood and plants one on me. I love being dragged to see something she's built, I love being asked to sit beside her on the floor or couch to read a story.

What can I say? I just love this kid.

I miss her terribly now that I can't be with her as much, but I'm hopeful that come spring we can develop a new balance that will have me able to be home with her and work part-time doing the stuff that I love to do.

For the Record: Entering the world of "2"

2011-09-28T21:16:00.000-04:00

Lately I feel like I'm a half step behind, while at times I'm still two steps ahead. It's a strange world of juggling student life, entrepreneur life and family life. It truly is a juggling act and without the support of my family, I'd likely be curled up in a corner somewhere rocking back and forth, back and forth.... and likely drooling a little too.

So Elly is officially two.

When asked how old she is, she occasionally will respond correctly with "two". However, she does continue to 'play shy' and not perform on cue. But every once in a while she'll surprise us and be incredibly well behaved, cooperative and listen perfectly - occasionally. Most of the time she's just a regular two year old who likes to do things her way, test the limits and explore her world.

I want to take note of the things that she's doing now before I forget, as I know that no matter how much I don't want to, I will. I'll forget the little things that mean so much now, but will blend in with her extended cooler neater accomplishments a year from now.

She talks.... and sings. She says two word combo's that are understandable and maybe even the rare 3 word combo. Most often; Maggie stop! Maggie Come! Maggie No! Maggie Go! and... Maggie No Bark! Other words, but not all of them include: Mommy, Daddy, Babi, Grandpa, Caitlyn, Josh, Baby, Maggie, Doggie, Cat, Cow, Duck, Chicken, Owl, Bird, Water, Sun, Moon, Star, STICKER!!!, Play, park, wee, slide, swing, couch, chair, table, cuppy, milk, SNACKY!, super, hungry, come, go, love you, moo, quack, baa, woof, meow, boc-boc, lephant (elephant), FISHY!! kitty, Bee, Callie, No, Yes, drink, twinkle, happy, bed, teeth, head, hand, foot, arm, leg, belly, button, hair, eye, nose, honk, pony (for pony tail), piggie (pig tails), tail, bum, poop, pee-pee, pants, socks, shoes, shirt, hat, coat, sweater, carry, clippy, colour, blue, two, 1-2-3, hooray, will repeat a-z, outside, car, home, zipper, seat, bath, bubbles, sleepy, nap, mickey, Manny, Tools, Toodles (yes, she does watch some TV or TB as she pronounces it).... the list keeps going and going
She dances, jumps, runs, spins, leaps and throws herself.
She LOVES water. Whether she's drinking it, playing in it, swimming in it or it's raining
She weighs 23.8lbs and is 31in tall
She's wearing size 18-24months on average
she can put on her own shoes, underwear and pants and sweaters
She is potty trained during the day no problem, but I'm not sure how to transition to training for the night.
She naps 2-3hrs daily
She's a good eater in general
She will hold my hand when asked for the most part
she's good at cleaning up her toys when asked.
she likes to help herself to snacks
she sleeps virtually without issue and has gone back to sleeping through the night
no more bottles
she can brush her teeth
she will ask for a pony tail or clippy in her hair
she likes to colour
loves to paint!
LOVES her cousins and her extended family
loves to swim
likes to build towers and knock them down.... the towers are getting taller though
can climb on couches and chairs
reach door knobs and open lever style knobs
insists on holding the leash when we take the dog for a walk (but I hold the leash further down so the dog doesn't take off with the both of them)
enjoys her sand box, slide, swing and cottage in the backyard
When asked everything is blue and there are always two... however, if you ask her to point out colours from a rainbow/collection of objects, she will generally choose the correct colour.
Same goes for numbers. She does understand how many two really is, but is still a little foggy on 4+
Did I mention she sings and talks to herself all the time? Not necessarily for us to understand, but she does and it's the cutest thing ever!

Anywho... I'm sure there is plenty more, but alas school calls my name. So off with me to do my homework, then maybe a little other work and who knows, maybe even to bed before 11! What at treat that would be.

Picture Catch Up!!!!

2011-09-22T16:22:00.000-04:00

Boy oh boy has this past month ever been BUSY!!!! Thanks to joining FB I've become terrible at updating pictures here. Which is REALLY awful given that this is really where the keepsake stuff is important! So here's a little photo catch up!

Elly and Maggie chillin on the doc on labour day weekend.

Elly hanging out on the rocks at the neighbours cottage.

I made Elly a no-sew tutu for her Birthday. Given that I have no patience, she got to try it on before the actual day. Turned out she really liked it!

This picture makes me laugh because it's totally a "soccer" pose! Consider this her player card picture - LOL!

A cute fun tutu pic

Oh yes and the great escape!... or at least attempted.

We've now started swimming lessons. Elly looks like a pro, but really she cried the whole time. All she wanted to do was go play on the boat and the slide. The concept of "lesson" was completely lost on her. It likely didn't help that it was super time and she was starving! Lesson learned by me.

It's her Birthday!!! Can you believe she's two already?!?!?!

Opening her presents.

Playing with her new piano!

A trip to a local conservation park... This is celeb Elly trying to hide out.

The next series of pictures is from the same park. I brought her Elephant costume with us to catch a few shots!

No more costume! On our way back to the car.

So Ya - she's TWO!!! Can you believe it??? I know I can't.

She's doing all the amazing things that two year olds do... including saying she's two when asked how old she is! Man I love this kid.

A Seamless Transition

2011-09-19T15:45:00.000-04:00

For months I knew the milk in the night was a very bad thing. I knew it was bad for her teeth, I feared that my weakness would result in her poor dental health... but I gave in regularly. From 8 weeks to 8 months she slept through the night. Then one night bottle lead to another and before I knew it, it was routine.

Earlier this year there was a 5 week stretch where she kicked the habit on her own, but when push came to shove, I cracked again and we were back where we started. It's amazing how much of a pushover I am when I'm tired.

In my few vain attempts to cut the bottle I got a glimpse as to the struggle it was going to be. She seemed to somehow know I didn't have the power to resist her tears and cute cries for milk and bottle. So I assumed that when the time came it would be just the same.

So I built up my courage, my determination and I bit the bullet. I drew the line and committed to the rule - NO MORE NIGHT BOTTLES!!!!

She seemed to know this was non negotiable from the start. She attempted to break me, but her attempts weren't the same as her previous battles. Within two nights the war was won. That was it, the end of night bottles and interrupted sleeps - HOORAY!

High on victory I made the decision is was time to convert the crib. I don't know if she was supposed to show "signs" of readiness or not. Much like the toilet training, this wasn't about her being ready, but me. My choice, my rules (or so I like to tell myself). We'd at least try it, worse case was it was going to be a bust and we'd have to re-cage the beast.

But somehow she got it.

At first I thought it was a fluke. It surely wasn't going to be that easy a transition. So many other stories from other Mothers and the challenges they faced. It surely wouldn't be as simple as saying - go to bed, and having her stay in bed - could it?

Well, more or less, it was.

Sure, she gets out of bed. But as far as we know, not in the middle of the night. Instead of waking up to a kid crying for us or calling out, we instead here her pressing buttons on her books, talking to her animals or singing to herself. She climbs in and out by herself. But when it's bed time, she lays down, asks for her blanket, curls up and goes to sleep. Even on the days where she's fighting sleep, she'll cry, but still stay in bed.

This transition has been far easier than anticipated. Once again, we've won the lottery and are grateful for her cooperativeness. So far it's looking like it may be the teen years when I'll have to look back on these moments and say - a-ha, that's the trade off.

She turns two on thursday... can you believe it??? Where has the time gone?

Everyday is something new

2011-09-10T14:33:00.000-04:00

I've noticed Elly is stringing together word. Like, "Come Mommy.... COME MOMMY!!!" or Maggie Stop, or Maggie No. Sometimes it's "Yes please", book please, Book Daddy. Book Mommy. I think there may be attempts to put together more words, but they're not connecting yet. Her vocabulary is officially too long to list. Her animal noises are hilarious, her expressions priceless. God only knows where she learned to plead with her eyes and change the tone of her voice when she wants something, but she does it. I assume few will be able to resist. Fortunately I can :) the big meany that I am.

Today also marked the crib conversion to a day/toddler bed. It's been something I've been thinking of doing for some time as I've grown tired of the rail and leaning over it. So we fashioned up the bed rail, got it installed and bit the bullet.

So far so good... she's still napping in bed.

The transition to Miss Tasha's has gone well. Both days there I've come to find her playing independently, but am told she's been very good. Eats well and sleeps well. I suppose the interaction with others will come in time. As for me, I love school while I'm there, but as soon as I step outside all I can think of is being home. When I reflect back on the days lessons though I get excited to think of all the skills I'm going to acquire in 27 weeks. My career is going to take off the moment I say I'm ready to go.

Moving Forward and stepping back in time.

2011-09-08T20:29:00.000-04:00

Fall 2000 marked my last "First Day of School". It was amazing. I clearly remember thinking to myself - Finally, I'm almost there. Spring 2001 marked my graduation. Actually my second graduation. Armed with a previous diploma in Advertising and then a second diploma in Graphic Design from one of the most recognized schools in the province and likely the country. I assumed that was it. On wards and up wards to the world of adulthood.

I had a job before I graduated, we went on to get married that fall after a long 4 year engagement and one would have been safe to assume that was it for education.

In my heart I knew that my skill set would allow me the flexibility to potentially stay home with our kids and so far it's worked out pretty great. Unfortunately, with the incredibly fast, dare I say sprint, that technology is evolving at, that schooling from 10yrs ago and all those year of work experience still were leaving me kinda high and dry.

I contemplated night school and alternative courses. But the truth is, I know me, I know the way I learn and I know what I need to succeed at the level I want to succeed at – and unfortunately that means a full time commitment and return to the classroom.

I had always thought that ideally I would want Elly in some kind of day care environment two days a week when she hit two. Socializing is important and so is learning without me. But the truth is, if it wasn't for me going back to school, I'm not sure I would have had the guts to follow through. I just LOVE being with her so much and frankly was kinda bugged out at returning to a more active working role for fear that I was too far behind in technology.

So here we are... moving forward, focused, determined and nervous while I step back in time and return to my old school to learn some new skills.

Elly is adapting to her new routine and is doing pretty good with the daycare lady.

Me, I'm still finding balance, which I may never actually achieve. However, I am much more at ease now that I have something career wise to focus on. After Emmett I'd reached a point for the first time in my adult life where I didn't know what was to come next.

Next is 27 more weeks of learning.... and with that will come some comfort I expect and perhaps a little hint of what will come after. I'm not sure if I will want to return back to work for someone else. But I do know, that at the very least I will be able to do work for myself with a lot more confidence.

My return to school has re-ignited my passion for what I do and reminded me to appreciate the little details that only a trained eye would notice. I'd lost that attention to acute detail and am looking forward to getting reacquainted.

As much as I'm looking forward to life as a student, my heart continues to break that I will be removed from the daily progress and growth of Elly. The amount of change that will come in the next 27 weeks is unbelievable and I wish I could be in two places at once.

5.5hrs and Dry!!!

2011-09-03T11:36:00.000-04:00

A day to be marked in the books!

Yesterday we did our regular long weekend drive north. As has become the routine I put Elly in her travel pull ups, put the waterproof seat liner in the car seat and we headed on our way. Our first stop was an hour and a half into the drive, most of which Elly had slept. Our reason for stopping, my bladder not hers.

I went, she went and to my surprise, I'd discovered that she was dry! She's made it through her car nap without peeing!!!

I didn't expect much more from there and figured that was going to be the potty highlight of the trip.

Incredibly, that was not the case. There were no more naps, but each time she had to go, we stopped and she went. No false alarms, not pulling the pee pee card to get out of the car. She did it!!!! This was a very proud moment for me. It means we are turning a corner.

Plus it made up for the strangely random piddle in the living room in the morning. I came into the room to find her with the roll of toilet paper trying to clean up her "pee pee" and actually looking a little distressed about it.

I just can't say enough how glad I am that I don't have to tackle her for diaper changes. She's getting so big and strong and determined, that frankly, if she didn't want to wear a diaper, I'm not sure how I'd keep one on her.

One, Two.... BLUE!

2011-08-31T15:22:00.000-04:00

What colour is that Elly?

BLUE!

Everything is blue when asked. However, she does recognize different colours. Today I held out 3 crayons and when asked which was Red, Yellow and Blue, she identified each one correctly. She does attempt to tell me colours as well, but Blue is always the most clear and her go to if she doesn't know.

Counting is becoming fun... 1-2-3 Wee, 1-2-3 Jump, 1-2-3.... whatever. She will say the words, but I am not sure how much of it she understands. With that said she correctly identifies Two of nearly anything. Ask her about 1 or 3 and you won't get anywhere. But she will point out 2 of everything else. Much like "blue", Two is her go to number when asked how much of something there is.

Her smarts never cease to amaze me along with her level of comprehension. She is certainly a kid that is never to be underestimated.

The Challenges of any given day

2011-08-29T14:46:00.000-04:00

Today's Challenge....

To laugh or scold when Elly proudly walked into the kitchen repeatedly exclaiming "Ha! Hat!" while sporting a giant grin and the potty seat on her head.

My bigger challenge however is technology.

I myself avoid technology to some degree. Weird to say coming from the blogging, FB'ing, emailing, digital picturing crazy lady.

But really, I do avoid it. I avoid the newest phones, video games and yes, even TV. My challenge is trying to find the balance of using technology as a learning tool so that Elly gains comfort with it, but at the same time isn't held back for not being in the know.

I have no answers, but am open to suggestions.

The roots

2011-08-29T09:23:00.000-04:00

Do you know where my parenting aversions come from? Do you know what drives them? Where they're based?

My Childhood.

It's that simple.

We were raised to steer clear of TV. Not that we didn't watch it, but we were strongly discouraged from it. To this day I'm not a big TV watcher

Commercially marketed toys - same thing. We didn't really have them. Sure we had some, but not as many as others. Even now, I'm not big on all the latest gadgets, although there are some I find irresistible.

Video games - not an issue initially as the technology wasn't there. But even still - something we were discouraged from doing.

Toilet Training - same thing.... Mom had us trained before we were two.

Working - Yup.... Mom stayed home with us.

The truth is, the more and more I look at it, I do a lot of things the way my parents did.

I don't read all the books, I don't have a game plan. I just go with what feels right. It's not always the same as what friends, neighbours or anyone else is doing, but it's what works for us.

Mommy aversions

2011-08-25T12:27:00.000-04:00

Boy, been a while. Sorry.

Sunday I got back from a trip out west all by my lonesome. I had a wonderful time with friends, but missed my baby and hubby dearly. Unfortunately I had so much work to catch up on when I got back, that I barely got to really enjoy their company much.

We're less then a month away from Elly's second Birthday, less then two weeks away from the start of school. Time is flying fast out the door, it's crazy.

Reluctantly I have started plans for Elly's second Birthday Party. This year we will have our immediate family over for Cake. Nothing fancy, no big production. Just some cake.

Party's get me thinking about presents and what gifts may make their way into our home. I know I've been a bit of a tight ass on the whole TV thing, but I'm glad I've stuck to it. It's certainly been one of my weird obsessive aversions as a Mommy. Unfortunately I feel another coming hot on its tail.

Dora, Disney Princesses, Barbi or really any other commercialized branded marketed kid contraption out there. I know I won't be able to avoid them much longer, but that doesn't mean I have to cave and welcome them into our home with open arms.

I like classic Disney. I really do. We have a bunch of VHS movies downstairs and I look forward to one day sharing them with Elly. But for the time being, the Dora, the Princesses, the Barbies, even Strawberry Shortcake, Carebears, Ponies or whatever else out there. - I'm not a fan. Plain and simple. If it's mass marketed, I most likely don't want anything to do with it.

I don't know why my aversion is so strong, but it's there and it's a biggie. Right up there with the no TV and no crazy sugary kids cereals - I don't care if they're chocolate "cheerios", they're still chocolate.

I'm not saying I want Elly to be some kind of tree hugging hippy, I just want her to be her. With her own imagination, her own vision, her own personality. Kids have enough things thrown at them constantly, there's no harm in sheltering her for a little longer so that she can find who SHE is before she starts trying to be someone else.

How Having Pets Prepared Us for Parenthood

2011-08-16T22:16:00.001-04:00

I think it's relatively common that some couples opt to have a pet before children. We got our pets because we both grew up with pets and a pet free home was just foreign to us. Little did I know then what I know now and how similar they can be.

When we got Maggie-Magoo, I swore we should have had a puppy mat leave. She had me up multiple times a night, my Mom would come to the house daily to walk her while we were at work. And just the overall commitment to training a pup into a mostly well behaved member of the family.

With Elly, she had me up through the night (still does) it was a good 7 months of uninterrupted nights while they lasted. I'm not ashamed to say that in teaching her not to touch things that she would get the same ah-ah growl the dog does. No polite, "please don't touch that's" around here in those early days. Now that she understand more, it's better, but the sharp ah-ah comes out frequently enough and she responds very well to it.

In the early days, I took Elly for walks daily, the dog thought she'd died and gone to heaven I'm sure. Poor dog is missing her walks now that Elly's more mobile and we don't take stroller walks as frequently.

But our newest cross overs actually take us to the cats.

Not often, but every now and again Elly has these goofy spells where she refuses to be put in her car seat. She spins, twists, stiffens up, grabs things... I'm not sure how your cats like cat carriers, but ours hate them. The only difference between us trying to get Pita into a cat carrier and Elly clinging to to door of the car and refusing her car seat is that she doesn't pee in distress or claw to draw blood. - thank god.

What else have the pets taught us?

Medicating.

Have you tried to give a cat a pill it doesn't want? What about a dog? Ever tried to give them meds via syringe? The difference with a pet is that you can
a) clamp their mouths shut and blow in their noses until they swallow
b) pin them down
c) wrap it in peanut butter or cheese

A and B not being acceptable for children.

Elly was sick this past weekend with fevers peaking at 102.9º on more than one occasion. The diagnoses is unknown, but antibiotics were provided. Antibiotics that are not the same as what had previously been given to avoid an allergic reaction.

The difference?

No nice banana creamy flavour that is appealing and easily accepted.

Nope, instead a chalky, kind of sweet, but not a good sweet liquid that has been spit up a lot. It's questionable how much she's gotten.

We tried hiding it in food and drink, but she's wised up. Unfortunately it now takes two of us to administer the medication and it's strangely similar to giving our pets meds.

One day we'll look back and laugh. But for the time being we're left shaking our heads and the very least grateful that somehow we're remotely more qualified parents because of our previous pet parenting.

Testing

2011-08-12T21:22:00.000-04:00

She's testing me daily. It used to be so much easier to stick to my guns. I watch myself cave and am disappointed in myself. I know better, or at least I think I do.

As we near the Two's it sure is a new world. I think it may need a new game plan.

The Power of Words

2011-08-11T22:03:00.000-04:00

For nearly 2yrs the routine has been simple. Place baby in bed, tell her "I love her", say "Goodnight" and walk out of the room. It's worked well for us. She's been a good sleeper.

But things are changing.

As she develops words, she also is developing smarts. It's been easy to just let her cry it out on nights where she didn't want to go to bed. But things are changing. Now instead of just tears we have words. Although difficult, I can resist the cries for Mom. But now she's adding more. Cries and tears as she claims she has to pee or poop. So I go. We take her to the potty. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't. Regardless, I take her as I've been on her case all week about telling Mommy she has to go after multiple accidents in the car. I've provided her with the weapon and the ammunition.

Frustrating.

It was way easier being a "tough parent" when she didn't have words to support her tears.

Our little Fish

2011-08-10T23:45:00.000-04:00

I really should go to bed as I'm beyond overtired, but before I go, I have to log this event!

Today we went to Balls Falls for a morning hike. Alas, the falls ran dry. Nice hike, nice visit with a friend, generally uneventful. On the drive home the kid wanted to sleep, I assumed if she slept she wouldn't transfer into her bed and we bribed her to stay away. She cooperated. It looked like naptime was a go, until I heard cries of desperation from her - she had to poop! So I got her to the toilet in the nick of time. Unfortunately because she cried for a couple minutes and the stress of the poop almost not making it, nap time was a bust.

So I've been meaning to hit up a local pool/splash pad in our end of town. I figured this was a great opportunity, so off we went. The facility was AMAZING. She enjoyed the splash area, but longed for the Poooooool. I didn't have my suit, but figured I could hang out on the stairs with her. The had life jackets available, so I put her in one and we played.

Then much to my surprise as I stood by her side, she pushed her floaty duck toy into the deeper area, then put her arms in front of her and jumped to get it. No hand holding, no look at me Mom. No nothing. Then we practiced and practiced and eventually she was jumping out, kicking on her belly, then flipping herself onto her back!

What a proud Mommy moment.

Guess, it's official, we need to get this kid in swimming lessons. Hopefully it's not too late to register.

It's not a job

2011-08-09T16:26:00.000-04:00

The great debate of the "working mom".

Over the past two years I have read a lot of articles on the opinions of people regarding WAHMS (Work from Home Moms), SAHMs (Stay at home Moms) and Career Moms. There has been great debate and comparisons made between responsibilities, pressures, expectations etc. I'm not educated on the topic, nor do I care to be, but I feel like I can now form an opinion on the topic and throw my hat into the ring.

For a year, thanks to our government I was a SAHM while on Maternity leave. Responsible for overseeing the development of my little baby and for caring for her every need. Over the course of that year, I loved every moment I had with her, but I did yearn to be able to use my brain as I'd trained it for my career as a graphic designer. My creative needs needed an outlet.

As the end of my maternity leave approached I had serious concerns about returning to the working force. The list for not wanting to return to work were common to most Mom's in that position. I wasn't too keen about returning to my place of work. I didn't want to commute, I had a hard time knowing that the majority of income was going to childcare, but more importantly I didn't want to be apart from my baby. It's not fair to say that my anxiety of being apart from my child was any worse than the next persons. However, upon significant reflection I do think that it was likely more than just the usual return to work jitters. I highly suspect that I may have been dealing with some post traumatic stress issues given all we went through to conceive, then with the hip issues etc and the challenges we had in our first year together.

It's always kind of irked me a little when parents refer to parenting as a job. Sure, there are similarities and it can be comparable, but on the other hand it's kind of insulting to me. You see, we worked VERY hard to get where we are in life. We went through the ringer for simply a chance at becoming parents. To have been able to achieve this dream is so much more than just a job.

A job is something you do because you like, or because you have to. But it's just a job. You're expendable to any business. Parents are not expendable - and if you think you might be, you really need to step up your game.

Parenthood is so much more than that. It's such an amazing and incredible blessing. It's such a gift to be able to bring life into this world. It's a gift to be able to teach these little beings. To build the foundation of their lives, to bring up members of society. But most incredibly is the feeling of love, pride and awe that comes with parenting.

When I'm home trying to balance work life and parenting it's not like I'm working two jobs. I'm living a dream that many people would love to be able to do. To compare it to their jobs when it's the most amazing gift in the world seems wrong.

Having to be responsible for these little beings full time is tough. It's tough to have your senses on high alert at all times. It's hard to grow the eyes in the back of your head and hone your sense of hearing to hear a pin drop in the middle of a crowded sand box and have the keen sense to be able to find it.

It's tough being "on" all the time.

And you know what - it's not for everyone. Some parents are better parents because they can work outside of the home. There is absolutely no right or wrong way to do it. Whatever way works best for your family is the right way for you.

I am one of the lucky ones. I not only have a career that I'm passionate about, a skill set that I can earn money from, but I also have the opportunity to be home to spend more time with Elly.

Being a Mom is hard work. But it's not a job. It's an amazing gift that too many people take for granted.

Quick Catch Up

2011-08-08T13:54:00.000-04:00

Boy oh boy, I knew August was going to be busy, but seriously, what a whirlwind and it's only the 8th! Dang, the 8th, already?!?!?

Elly continues to grow like a weed. We're guessing she's up about 2 inches since March. Her vocabularly continues to flourish, however does require some concentration on our part to understand what she's saying some times. Today she repeated the entire alphabet after me while we were in the car. Lots of fun.

I made an unplanned overnight trip to visit relatives in just outside of Montreal this past weekend. It was good for Elly and I to have some time away from each other as we near our big test of me being away for 5 days. Even just 36hr seems to have cost me some of her potty training as she's been having accidents regularly today. Trips in the car being the worse. Regardless of how much she pees before she gets in the car, she's still managing to squeeze out more no matter how short the trip. It's driving me batty.

Separation anxiety is truly kicking in now. Elly has had numerous meltdowns when I haven't been around. It breaks my heart that she manages to get her self so worked up.

I know there is plenty more to write about, but alas, I desperately need a nap.

What you thought you knew

2011-07-30T00:45:00.001-04:00

When you're faced with the challenges of infertility you're 'blessed' with this window of unexpected time to observe how the rest of the world raises their children. You watch as new parents tell you about the joys of co-sleeping, organics, supplements, this that and the other. You're told about all things wonderful and what everyone's opinions are on how they're raising their children. If you're as "blessed" as we were, you then get to observe the effects of the choices these parents made with their children. You then get to form an opinion or two of your own about "How you will raise your children..." when you have kids.

We try to not call it judgement, because that doesn't sound nice. But, I'd be a liar if there wasn't a judgement or two passed on what other people were doing with their kids and how we would learn from their mistakes experiences. You see as a new parent in waiting (and waiting, and waiting) there may have been a book or two read... An article here or there... You see, we had the time to "plan". After all the uncertainty that came with trying to conceive, parenting was going to be a cinch, because this, this was in our control and we could plan, step by step exactly how everything was going to unfold.

Boy, oh boy, do I ever laugh at myself now. All those things I thought I knew! But really, I knew then, little less than I do now. Except maybe, I've come to accept the reality.

Control is an illusion. There's no such thing.

Patience, flexibility, adaptability, faith, love, an open mind and an open heart will take you anywhere.

The absolute BEST advise I got from my friend Allison. It was simple and to the point. No matter what you do, what the rules, what the plan, the key is always FOLLOW THROUGH. Whatever you say you're going to do - do it. Don't back down, don't roll over, don't play dead. A infant, baby, toddler, child etc can smell weakness a mile away!

So that's what I do. I stick to my guns. I make a plan and I do it.

Like day care.

I've had the amazing luxury of working part time from home since Elly's arrival. Actually, given that I was taken off early from work, August 17th will mark my 2nd Anniversary of not being in the full time workforce.

I have long stated that I didn't want Elly in full time daycare with any of her Grandparents or immediate family. I want everyone to enjoy their family relationships as Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles. I fear that when anyone steps in as a full time care giver this bond is jeopardized.

With that said, our cash flow dictates that we need to graciously and gratefully accept the open arms and open hearts of family. So as much as I see the benefits of daycare upon my return to full time academia in the fall, reality dictates otherwise.

I assumed a long time ago that Elly would go into a Commercial Centre. I like their structure and routine. I like many things about the environment and the principles and practices. I was actually quite adamant that Elly would be in a centre at the very least a couple times a week. I wasn't really even considering home day cares.

But the dollars brought forth some sense.

The first day home we looked at is a start up. The girl running it is about 28yrs old, has 10yrs work experience and has dedicated the whole main floor of her new house to her "Centre". She's educated in the field. She's organized and thorough with binders, upon binders of information. She TRULY will run her home like a centre. She has no children of her own and is eager to have her home filled with the children from the daycare. I was very impressed with her set up, her plans and her intentions. So much so, that I was pretty sure that that's where Elly would go. The only thing that bothered me was the "baby tone" that she spoke to Elly in. But, really, that wasn't enough for me to jump ship. Elly seemed quite comfortable there and would have been happy to go there I'm sure. This girl was very by the book.

Because, I deemed myself irresponsible if I didn't check out at least ONE other home day care, I contacted a lady who was referred to me by a friend.

Today, Elly and I met with this alternate provider. I wasn't expecting much and was kind of going through the motions for good measure. After all, the first girl was as close to my centre wish as my money could literally buy.

This other provider has no formal childcare training that I know of, but I didn't ask. She has 10yrs experience as a home day care provider and she has FIVE children of her own ages 8-22yrs. She is an immigrant from the West Indies, which shouldn't matter, but does as I have a very high respect for the west indians I know.

This woman's house is a bloody zoo! It's awesome and insane all at the same time and she didn't even have all her day care kids there as they're teachers kids and home with their parents for the summer! The routine is only there when it comes to meal times. There are few planned educational activities, themes or course outlines. She simply just raises these kids as if they were her own. Which means you're polite, you listen, you communicate, you respect others and you learn. She said she wouldn't have been able to manage 5 kids if they all had to cling onto her at the same time. The kids learn confidence, independence, creativity and imagination in a truly FAMILY environment. There are bigger kids that will come after school, but during the day, Elly will be one of 5. I think she'll be the youngest by a month or so, but all the kids are within a year of each other in age. They'll learn to read and write, colours, shapes and all the things that a curriculum would offer, but in a real home kind of way.

I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew that I wanted structure and routine and here I am, my gut tells me. This loving home filled with activities and children that is constantly a buzz is the perfect place for my little girl.... and well, it's $5 cheaper a day.

It really is amazing the difference that perspective makes.

As for all my previous observations and lessons learned from others.... we're all still learning. We all thought we knew more then we do at some point or another. Reality is an amazing gift.

Upsetting

2011-07-27T21:39:00.000-04:00

The things that upset a child can for the most part be pretty obvious. Keep them fed, rested and entertained and life can run pretty smoothly. However, when a wrench unexpectedly lands in the middle of your entertainment portion of the day, it can really throw things for a loop.

This morning as Elly and I sat reading a story all seemed hunky dory. She was nuzzled into her spot under my arm, comfortably snug and ready for her story. This new book seemed fine yesterday when we read it, but suddenly became quite upsetting today. At first I couldn't figure out why she was crying and putting her feet on the book, but not kicking it out of frustration. The tears kept rolling and finally I got the right question asked and my answer.

It seems, Elly was quite upset that she was unable to climb into the story and go on the slide in the picture of the park or swing on the swing or ride the horse. For a while now, there are a couple of stories where she'll pretend to eat the food from the illustration, but this was the first time she tried to climb right into the book. What an amazing imagination to be spoiled by a harsh reality - no matter how hard we try we can't climb into our books to escape and play.

So much Fun!!!

2011-07-27T17:33:00.002-04:00

Potty Training Pointers

2011-07-25T22:57:00.000-04:00

Three posts in a day... jeesh. Sorry about that, just gotta get caught up while I can.

I wanted to offer up some potty training pointers from our experience thus far. Given that we started "early" with Elly things may be a little different then for someone who's starting a little later. The key at ANY age is simple - Patience, commitment and consistency. At any point when I let one of those things drop I was screwed.

I will not deny or claim anything otherwise, the truth is that it was ME, who had to be trained first. I had to learn her cues, pay attention and be committed to her success. This obviously required a lot of patience. A LOT OF PATIENCE.

Unfortunately our kids don't come with manuals, handbooks, handouts, cheat sheets or Coles notes. They come right out of the box, as is, no instructions - fend for yourself, not even a wish of good luck.

As mentioned in previous posts on the topic we went with the naked for a few days approach. I know it's not for everyone and I don't claim it to be the end all and be all of all potty training. I didn't try any other methods, so honestly I have nothing to compare to. Which ever way you opt to go, the three keys will inevitably remain the same. What I can do though, is share with you what worked and why.

The naked part... this worked for two reasons. One for me, the other for her, but all the same. Together we got to learn her cues and recognize when she was going. This option proved to be messier then say, putting her on the potty every 30mins and hoping to catch a piddle. But for my personal sanity, it was what worked for us. I was certainly committed to her success, but wasn't quite at THAT level of commitment.

Rewards - Whether you use food, stickers, a pat on the back or whatever. Do what works for you. Elly responded very well to stickers, so she was rewarded with a potty party dance, hips, hoorays etc and stickers. Eventually she just got the hang of it and the stickers lost their thrill, but can still be brought back on occasion. I know bribery isn't for everyone and I myself don't encourage it often, but given the goal and the circumstances, this is what worked for us.

Accessories - Have LOTS of underwear and changes of clothes available. There have been days where I just can't stop smelling pee and it drives me nuts. But I keep moving forward and hope that the next day is better... and for the most part it is.

There are a million potty's out there. It's your call what you get. I think I got mine because it was on sale and I wanted to have something that was as close to a real toilet seat as possible. It's plain jane. No characters or fancy colours. Just white and blue because that's what they had.

Seat liner.... I didn't get this right away and I should have. After a MILLION unassemblies of the car seat we FINALLY went out and got a darn waterproof seat liner for under $15.

Port-a-potty.... A great gift we receieved was a sturdy portable seat for public washrooms. I NEVER mastered the art of hanging Elly over a toilet to pee. She always has to at least have part of her legs/butt on the seat for balance while I hold her. Until we got this portable seat cover and now she can sit. This works out great for obvious sanitary reasons.

Something that was very common sense to me has gotten me a few comments from friends and strangers.... I have a potty in the car at all times. This has come in handy on MANY occasions and on busy days filled with plenty of errands has saved us from numerous public washrooms.

Routine.... leaving the house without the protection of a diaper can be one of the most nerve wracking things. Cleaning up an accident in public is just no fun. So do what you can to develop a routine to prevent accidents. For us, we call it protocol... I don't know how I came up with saying it, but it's grown on us. EVERY time we leave the house, I ask Elly what protocol is? She has now learned that before we leave the house she ALWAYS has to pee. She's even gotten to the point, where it looks like she actually squeezes out whatever she can, because she knows the routine. This routine also includes using the potty in the car between stores or before we come home. This has been a hard routine for both of us to learn. If I lapse, she almost always has an accident in the car. It drives me nuts. 9 times out of 10, it's my goof that leads to an accident. Whether I'm not paying attention to her cues, or I don't follow the routine it always bites me in the butt!

That's all I can think of at the moment.

Today we had a breakthrough.... today she has started actually saying Peepee when she needs to go. We now have word and action association - Hooray. This is super exciting, as now she can communicate to more than just myself or her Grandparents.

Memories

2011-07-25T21:55:00.000-04:00

She's not even two yet, but she already seems wise beyond her years. Maybe it's the fact that we have been connected for so much longer than her short life? Some days she seems like such a normal kid, then other days she blows my mind with something she says or does. The pride and love I feel for this little person is nothing like I could have ever imagined.

When you're challenged with infertility I think it's pretty common to become overly focused on smaller things. Like just getting pregnant, then having a baby. It's easy to loose sight of the long term reality that that baby will one day become a toddler, then a kid.... teen... adult. Perspective is an amazing gift.

Elly is doing some amazing things these days. I'm regularly thinking I need to carry a note pad to jot them down as there are just so many things, some of which can be quite hilarious.

Elly is a water baby. Loves to drink it, play in it, splash, swim, blow bubbles, you name it. If there's water, she's in. When she's swimming with her Dad and her cousins at her Grandparents house they have the giant pool noodles that they like to play with. I'm not sure which kid adult I should credit it to, but one of them figured out that if you put the noodle under water, the hollow middle will collect water, then if you blow on one end, it will shoot out the other. This discovery has led to hours of entertainment for ALL ages.

Since the first time Elly observed this behavior, she's picked up how it worked. She doesn't quite have the lung capacity or full strength to pull it off on her own, but that doesn't stop her from trying. She pushes the noodle under water and blows into one end, but can't hold up the other end out of the water to have it shoot out accordingly. HOWEVER, with a little Fatherly assistance, it seems the duo got it working and Elly has managed to muster up the lung capacity in just shy of a week to get it to work for her. - UNBELIEVABLE.

This kid is a sponge. I can only assume that all kids this age are. But to what degree, I don't know. Today as I was in the pool at my parents place with Elly my Mom commented about how Elly needs to lay on her belly more to practice kicking her legs. This statement was said to me in conversation. Yet, immediately Elly flipped herself over onto her belly while holding onto the stairs (not ladder) of the pool and started trying to kick her legs. It goes to show you, she NEVER stops paying attention.

Listening to Elly sing to herself is beyond adorable. Like seriously, seriously beyond adorable. Trouble is, as soon as a recording device appears, the singing stops. Not to mention, her preferred place to sing is in the car.

Another neat thing...

Playing.

All kids play, but it's safe to say that many kids play very differently. Whether they need to interact with others, or can play independently and just how they play with their toys.

Elly, like many kids has A LOT of toys. In fact, it's a little embarrassing at times. It's not like we buy her lots, however between gifts and hand me downs, she's got more than enough, arguably too many. Anyhow, her most recent acquisition came last week with a bunch of hand me down clothes and a storage bin of toys. She received a couple doll houses and a mitt full of little dolls and people.

For all the toys that Elly has, we don't actually play with many of them very often, particularly in the summer time. Given that we spend so much time outdoors or on adventures, toy time at home often is limited. So, aside from some toy time at her Grandparent's place a couple times a week, I don't know that she actually plays with stuff all that much.

However, even with the level of exposure she has to toys, she somehow managed to figure things out so fast. In fact, I came to notice that with all of her toys, for the most part she now plays with them as they were meant to be played with. Dolls go in strollers, they get bottles or soothers and are snuggled and loved. Doll house characters are placed on furniture and moved around the house. Whether they're laying in bed or sitting on the couch, she has them doing something. Puzzles are pulled apart so they can be put back together and everything has it's place. I'm not always good at enforcing clean up, but when I ask, she stops and puts EVERYTHING away. Sometimes it takes a little longer if she gets distracted, but ultimately she tidies up.

And stories!!!!

She remembers stories and she anticipates her favorite spots. Whether she's consoling clifford the dog because his neighbours don't like him, or singing with the old lady. She squeals with joy when something happens that she likes. And she's now taken to trying to eat food from illustrations or step into the page to put on a pair of shoes.

Elly is starting to remember so much. So much so that I think it's fair to say she's developing memories of her childhood and I am just so happy that I'm able to be part of most of them.

Summertime Adventures

2011-07-25T14:19:00.001-04:00

Last summer Elly spent hours on my back as I hiked the bruce trail in hunt for any and all waterfalls. Waterfalls, only because along the Niagara escarpment they're plentiful and I'm a big fan of hiking with a purpose. Going in circles generally isn't my cup of tea. But if you can show me something awesomely scenic along the way, then I'm sold.

This summer has been filled with lots of new adventures and unfortunately not as much hiking as last year. With the heat and Elly's love for playing in water, and well, the fact that my feet have been on the DL for well over a month, hiking hasn't hit the priority list.

Today, isn't AS hot and my feet are tolerable, and my hankering for hiking out weighed any other options, so we packed up and headed out. It's been a few months since Elly has been in the hiking pack on my back and I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I feared that perhaps she's crossed the threshold of not finding it fun to ride on Mom's back through forests. Fortunately, this was not the case and she was quite cooperative and added some great sound effects as I climbed my way down to the bottom of the falls. There was stairs most of the way, but I did have to shimmy over a retaining wall (that had been clearly shimmied by many who'd come before me.)

Elly was quite content to sit at the waters edge and splash in the little puddles. It was really, really rocky, so she wasn't interested in adventuring too far - fortunately.

As I sat there taking this picture, I just couldn't stop thinking that I'm the luckiest girl in the world. The only thing missing here was having Jeff along with us. But seriously, playing at the bottom of a waterfall all to herself?? How many kids get to do this?

This was the Mom, don't stray too far look.

Maggie-Magoo was equally delighted to get some water time in the falls. The water was so fresh and refreshing.

Elly was fascinated by the watery moss on the rock wall. However, when we got to close it bugged her out. It was certainly neat from a distance.

As much as I enjoy the splash pads, wadding pools, farms, petting zoos, playground etc. Hiking trails and having lunch at the bottom of a waterfall is truly where my heart is.

As for the walk back..... A little less enjoyable it seemed. Unfortunately lunch was a little scarce and she was being picky. So she opted NOT to eat what was provided. Plus she was tired. So there was a fair amount of whinning and more than one person who got to listen to my singing as they passed us on their way up and our way back. Even one family who got to listen to my plea of "Pleeeease do not whine in my ear for the next half hour. It's going to be an awfully long car ride home if we're both grumpy."

I should add, the trails were great and would accommodate a large wheel jogging stroller. It didn't have to be by back pack as some of the previous trails we've done in the past.

THe TV Na.zi is back

2011-07-22T13:52:00.000-04:00

Elly's first year my feelings about TV were pretty loud and clear. I didn't want her watching it. As she approached a year old, the pressure started. Ease up, let her watch some, it's not all bad for her. A little will be good for her. She likes it.... I heard it all.

I knew that when I wasn't around she was watching TV. I could have made a stink, but I didn't. Because after all "it's only TV". I'm not writing this now to say she's forbidden from any TV, as I know there are a variety of people who follow this little journal and some may feel this entry to be directed at them. It's not intentionally. In fact it's more about me.

You see, Elly, like most kids DOES like TV. In fact, given the opportunity, she will sit absolutely still and watch 2-3 shows back to back. Her attention span is amazing! She knows characters, she sings along, she dances if the mood strikes her. She interacts and has a very positive relationship with the TV.

It's me who doesn't.

I don't care if she sings or dances, laughs and/or smiles. I still can't stand the expression on her face as she zones out and tunes into that darn thing.

Over the past 4 to 6 months or so, I too have taken advantage of Elly and her reliable TV behaviour to steal a few minutes to work, cook or shower. In fact, for a spell, Elly was guaranteed 15-20mins of TV daily as she was too mischievous to be trusted to play solo while I took a shower and the TV bought me the time I needed. Then she'd get a couple minutes as the TV bought me the still child I needed to do her hair.

Slowly, but surely more and more TV started creeping into each day until it became everyday. I was feeling defeated and disappointed that I'd allowed this to unfold. Not only were the one's who encouraged TV using it more, worse still, I, MYSELF had cracked.

So, I'm back. The TV Na.zi is back.

You see, I remind myself why it bothered me to begin with. Those reasons still stand. Nothing has changed. TV still is what it is, regardless of the programing. Elly is now more of a sponge than ever. So why not take the opportunity to teach her NOW to avoid the TV and that she doesn't need it.

These early years are the foundation. A very important foundation at that. Sure a little TV won't hurt her. But there's no reason why she can't learn NOW how to live without it. In doing so now, she won't know what she's missing.

I feel that my early efforts of avoiding the TV have helped so far in that when she does watch it, she actually watches is. It's not just on as another distraction.

With that said... does this mean you have to turn off your TV's when we come to your house - NO! Please don't. I don't judge others for the use of TV in their house. We all make our own choices based on our own reasons. I respect others and how things work at their homes. At your home, we abide by your rules in your environment.

This transition back to reduced TV exposure over the past week has been pretty seamless. At first I'd sit her in front of the TV when I was doing her hair and not turn it on. Now, 1 out of 3-4 times I turn it on, but it's literally for 2 mins.

As for showers and TV time? Well, she'd gotten better at being trusted to roam free while I shower. But most of the time she'd much rather stand at the side of the shower and watch or have a shower with me, so it's not an issue. I like that given the choice she chooses to have a shower with me over watching TV.

Adaptation

2011-07-18T15:12:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure it's "The Key" to successful parenting, but I can assure you it's up there when it comes to keeping your sanity while parenting.

The last little while has been busy, not that, that's anything new really. It's just been a different kind of busy, physically, emotionally and just all around. I haven't been able to exercise much in the last month as I've had some big challenges with issues with my feet. Which for Elly means no long rides in her stroller as I rollerblade, no backpack hiking adventures and just less adventures that require Mom to require mobility. Add work and other obligations, plus me always trying to squeeze in some fun stuff, times are busy.

The thing is, it's the normal really, so it's all a matter of adapting to whatever is happening at the time. A couple weeks back I attempted the mall... albeit entertaining at points, it was also a pretty high stress event given Elly's desire to touch and move and be all over the place. So much so, that I thought I'd likely have to restrain her to a stroller for any future mall trips. Really, not something I'm up for generally as I like to keep her moving most of the time. Walking, running jumping... all good things for making sure her hip is used as much as possible and working itself into a deeper socket. Not something the doctors ever mentioned, just me and my logic. It was mentioned once in passing that using it, was good for it. So that's what we do. Not to mention, I don't want a lazy kid. I don't think that makes me too different from most parents really. Having a lazy whinny kid is not generally something one strives for. However, I do believe, that prevention is the best action one can take in some cases.

So today required another trip to the mall to cancel my former gym membership and to pick up a couple of things. It also required a trip to Canadian Tire, which happens to be adjacent. However, everything was pretty much at opposite ends from each other. As much as I want Elly walking, the thought of reliving our last mall episode had me on edge. I thought maybe I'd cheat a little (adapt) and walk outside where possible.

This proved to be a good and bad solution.

I parked between the mall and CT. Elly's Grandmother works at CT. Elly associates going to CT to ride in the car shopping cart and visiting her Grandmother.... trying to walk away from CT without doing any of these things - a challenge.

But done.

Equally so, it worked in our favour when it came time to go to CT and we walked from the other end of the mall. Once she got sight of it, She was more than willing to pick up the pace.

Overall, I would deem todays adventure a success! We adapted and we conquered.

Big Sister to an Angel

2011-07-15T13:26:00.000-04:00

Today, July 15 was dear wee Emmett's due date. Due to medical history he would have likely arrived two weeks ago, but today was the day that he should have been here by. Yesterday his monument as they call it was installed. Today we went to his grave and planted fresh flowers and added little iron dragon flies from an local artisan up north at our cottage.

While we were there a dragonfly zipped through the air. Just for a moment as if to say Hello. It was nice to feel his presence there.

Before today he wasn't supposed to be here, so in a weird way it was easier not to feel like I was missing out on that much. Sure I was missing out on the final uncomfortable weeks of pregnancy. But I wasn't missing the same.

Yesterday and today have been tougher. Now I'm missing the life that should have been, but wasn't.

Attention to detail

2011-07-14T09:42:00.000-04:00

Last weekend we were at an art fair/festival thing up north. While I was in one of the booths, Elly took notice of a wine wrack and a wine bottle. The artist was quick to point out how Elly went straight for the centre of the wine bottle and commented that she must be a very detail oriented child. I don't know if this lady has many children or experience with children, but the conviction she said it with, was one that really caught my attention. For whatever reason, her conviction gave her some mysterious credibility. Weird really.

I haven't thought about that incident since. Well, until yesterday when I walked in the door, returning from my first pedicure in... well... Since Elly has been here I think. It was overdue to say the least.

I'm not sure Elly even looked at my face. Apparently pink toe nails are enough to stop this kid dead in her tracks. She couldn't stop following my feet. It got to the point that she had to get down on her belly and get her face as close to my feet as she could for a closer examination.

The whole thing was kind totally weird, but entertaining. It seems that indeed, this kids attention to detail is highly acute!

Sharing and stuff

2011-07-13T23:06:00.001-04:00

So the mall trip was a lesson learned. Fair enough, we will consider using the stroller for mall trips to limit the challenges that seem to ensue... OR... just steer clear of the mall. Really, this shouldn't be much of an issue. I'm not a mall fan any way, nor am I a shopping fan, so I won't feel like I'm missing much. But does this mean we're entering the "Terrible Two's"? Was it all that terrible?

It was fun for some of it, I guess I just wore out first. Was it terrible? Well, it wasn't great. But really, I'm not sure it would be fair of me to expect much else given that for the most part we are in kid friendly, out door play areas where pretty much everything is fair game for touching. It's not like she goes wandering and invading the space of strangers and routing through their bags. Really, with the exception of the display issue, she was really just mimicking my shopping behaviours in her own way. With that, I either need to STOP TOUCHING EVERYTHING, or I just need to help her learn in a better way. But I'll save that thought process for another day.

Today we hit up a NEW to us City splash pad and wadding pool. I'm in love. Swings, slides, pool, splash pad AND green space! Many of the places we've frequented don't have a lot of green space and if they do have it, it's on the other side of the fence from the water area. Which is fine, but really, it's just a little inconvenient. Especially when I want to take advantage of my cool new sun shade tent.

Did I tell you about the sun shade tent?? I'm pretty sure I did. But given how much I love it, I just have to repeat how awesome it is.

It's by Coleman. It was $64.99 at Canadian Tire. I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

Boy, I'm all over the place.....

So back to our adventures today....

Terrible two's??? Splash pad?? Playdate.... and sharing.

I have a hard time with how to teach Elly, or any other kid for that matter, the concept of "Sharing". I haven't done any reading on the matter, so my thought process isn't influenced by some literary expert. Instead, it's simply through observation and a discussion with Elly's Grandmother.

Is it fair to 'make a kid share all the time'? Personally, I'm not sure it is. Why should one kid have to give things up all the time in the name of sharing if another kid comes and tries to take it from them? Frankly, I'm thinking it's a matter of teaching kids to "wait their turns". The question then comes to me as to whether there is a difference between sharing and waiting one's turn?

Elly has been both the toy grabber and the victim of toy grabbing. Some days she's very assertive and won't given a thing up if someone attempts to take it. Other days, she let's it go, then gets sad. Some days it's a non issue and she moves on. Today she was the grabber. Poor Marley didn't stand a chance. Elly is developing a bit of "everything is mine" complex. She doesn't want to share toys, swings, slides, water, food or whatever it is that someone else has and she wants. She acts as if playgrounds are hers to rein some days.

My challenge.... how to raise an assertive, confident, yet COMPASSIONATE kid. Who can play nice with others and take her turn and/or share.

It's a work in progress.

In other news... Elly had a lovely time with her Dad tonight when he was watering the lawn.

Also wanted to add another product plug....

I LOVE THESE BUBBLES and so does Elly.

It's a whole new world

2011-07-11T14:44:00.000-04:00

It is beyond a doubt a whole new world out there. Gone are the days of leisurely strolls, babies who's awake time is greatly out numbered by their sleep time; quiet, cooperative children.

It's insanely hot outside. INSANELY! Of course it is, it is summer after all. But you add the humidity and it's just plain unpleasant at times. I've been boycotting our A/C so far, but today I finally cracked. When the car thermostat told me it was 35º outside, then when we got moving and it went up to 37º I knew coming home to an air conditioned house was going to be so sweet.

Given the heat and my to do list, I was hesitant to fill Elly's day with outdoor activities today. Certainly she'd be thrilled with anything water related or park related, but unfortunately that didn't get me to the mall to buy her a dress for her Uncle's upcoming wedding.

So to the mall it was.

There was a time that doesn't seem that long ago where Elly would sit nicely in her stroller and just take in all the people quietly. I even recall a time where she would stay at my side, hold my hand and we could stroll through the mall without much effort at all.

Shopping with Elly has 'evolved'. It was bound to happen, she's a growing kid and she's going to behave as all kids do. She's no angel.

Elly has spent the last number of months observing how one shops. It seems she has concluded that to successfully shop, you must touch anything and everything as you pass it. If it's shiny, you need to take a moment and examine it very closely. The good news is, that given the opportunity, she will search out the price tag and read it. Any low hanging items are fair game and she will fill her arms with hangers and clothing when possible. Alas, should she NOT like your display (I'm sorry nice Gap lady) she will proceed to pull it apart and rearrange it. All the while, she will laugh loudly and grin from ear to ear.

The more embarrassed you appear or unhappy, the greater the incentive to dash quickly between, under and around any and all displays. In turn, laughing louder and not paying attention to where she's going. Which may or may not result in a crash landing.

The little girl who used to willingly hold my hand has been replaced with a look-a-like who would prefer to dangle from my hand and pull away in an effort to twirl herself around by the shoulder socket. Given her joint history this gets me worked up rather quickly.

Oh yes... and the joys of the escalator. Bless this wonderful new toy that I have quickly learned to hate.

At first I attempted to stick to one floor of the mall. The majority of the stores I was looking for were on the first floor anywho, so why go upstairs?

Why you ask? Simple - because that's where the escalator takes us!!! And once you're up there, there will be another to take you down!!!

I lost count how many times we went up and down. The good news is that eventually I did hit every store I intended to hit. Took a few tries, but little miss wasn't bothered by the additional escalator trips. However, I do believe she may lodge a complaint that the elevator wasn't used enough.

I think it took us nearly an hour to leave the mall. For a while I was stuck in some vortex between escalators and the washroom.

An exclamation of needing to pee with a crotch grab is a good way to get me to turn around and take her to the loo. Fortunately, she did actually have to go each time and there were no false alarms. Unfortunately each trip back got us stuck between the escalators and in a roundabout circuit. By the 3rd or 4th time, I told her enough and we skipped the unintentionally developed routine and just headed back to sears for me to return the dress I decided I no longer wanted, having found 3 for the same price at Gap on sale.

The challenge comes when I pick Elly up and she wants to walk, or I tell her she has to walk and she wants to be picked up. Whatever the case, if we go against the grain, there are screams. I have come to terms with not letting these get to me as much as they once did. I have accepted that there will be looks and stares. I refuse to let the expressions of others to allow me to crack in my disciplining efforts.

In the end, a few hours longer than I would have liked, the trip was successful. But it is without a doubt safe to say that life with Elly is a whole new world these days. We are fast approaching two and she is quickly asserting herself.

I'm sure there will be good times ahead of us.

Amazing Weekend

2011-07-03T22:58:00.000-04:00

The July 1st, Canada Day long weekend always seems to feel like the real official start to summer. Sure, the May long weekend is a good teaser. This year May was too chilly and wet to even think that summer was ever going to make it.

Fortunately it's here and it's amazing!!!

This year we have a pass to the Hamilton Conservation Parks. This weekend we visited Christi Conservation for the first time - AMAZING. Are you seeing the trend?

AMAZING!!!

No matter how many times I repeat it, it won't give it justice. It really was that great of a weekend.

Canada Day we celebrated downtown at the waterfront. Although I would have liked to explore the vendors and checked out the strawberry social at the local museum, Elly was more than happy to enjoy the splash pad and park with her friend Caden. We enjoyed a little picnic under a tree with a bunch of other families. Kind of a shame how we all sit pretty much on top of each other, yet manage to virtually ignore each other at the same time and pretend we've got the place to ourselves.

After her nap, she had a quick dip in the hot tub (before the fresh water got too hot), then after dinner we headed back downtown. Although I'm sure she would have tolerated some visits to the vendors, she was more than happy to enjoy some time on the beach throwing rocks and playing in the sand.

Saturday we headed to Christi Conservation Park. What a perfect little beach. And the company was ideal. Thanks Caden for playing with Elly.

Acknowledging

2011-06-30T13:04:00.000-04:00

Had things gone differently, we'd be most likely welcoming our little Emmett into the world this long weekend via scheduled c-section. Alas, such was not the case.

I do miss the idea of what could have been. I miss the fantasy of a healthy baby boy and his big sister and the adventures they would have had together. I do not however regret the nightmares, fears and challenges of what could have been. And, I accept and forgive for the reality of how things went. The reasons will never be clear, but I like to think we've been given a great gift and an opportunity in exchange for our sacrifices. And it is with that mysterious gift that I am overly grateful for all we have and the opportunities that are coming our way.

I have long believed that for every low, the highs can be that much more enjoyable. So now we continue to move forward, higher and higher. Living, loving and laughing; always remembering and always grateful. To have known him only for a moment, was better than to not known him at all.

First Strawberry Picking

2011-06-30T12:56:00.000-04:00

Strawberry season is a tad late this summer due to the wonky wet spring weather. I haven't been strawberry picking since I was a kid. My memories aren't all fond, as I recall scorching heat and not wanting to be there - I suppose, that's why we didn't go anymore. With that said, I also have fond memories of strawberry picking with my Mom and siblings. Snacking on the berries, playing at the farm and all the yummy strawberry delicious food that came from our pickings. Mmmmm homemade jam, strawberry dumplings... mmmmmm.

This summer, the weather has been reasonable. In fact, this morning was a tad on the cool side, definitely too cool for water play, so strawberry picking it was. The sun started to come out just as we were finishing up, so no scorching heat, there were only a few other pickers, so no crowds and well, Elly was extremely cooperative. She enjoyed her share of fresh berries and playing in the straw while I picked my basket.

Overall, a VERY pleasant experience and worth attempting again. Hopefully even one more time this season.

Living Happ"elly" ever after

2011-06-30T09:27:00.000-04:00

After recently learning to use iMovie, I have finally put together a collection of pictures from our time so far.

Hope you enjoy. Beware, it's just over 8mins long.

Summer Time!!

2011-06-27T22:14:00.001-04:00

Goodness gracious. I've been a terrible blogger as of late. Shame on me. I suppose it's common, eventually I was bound to loose something. Seems the loss of time is what's kept me at bay. Life has been BUSY, BUSY, BUSY. This past weekend we together with Jeff's brothers we hosted their parents 40th Wedding Anniversary Party. It was a true success. It didn't help matters that I got it in my head to "organize" a bunch of house hold items the week before the party, or that I was juggling work and a really, really busy little girl.

In a couple of weeks, my brother in law in getting married. Not a lot expected from our end specifically, but still a busy time with family stuff regardless. Which means a little extra exposure to Elly's cousins - which is a lot of fun. Elly LOVES her cousins. I suppose, because they're a little bigger, she's all over them. She copies them, follows them and the three of them are like the musketeers. It's VERY entertaining.

So what's up with Elly?

Words mostly. New one's show up daily, sometimes more. They're all super cute. Also, she's doing a lot more actions to songs and loving music in general. Seems she can carry a pretty good beat. She can clap or tap to the rhythm of a song, which is like always - adorable.

We've also been to the Brantford Zoo, multiple splash pads and water activities and plenty of places with "bigger kids". I love the fact that Elly learns quickly, but I must admit, I'm having a hard time when she seems more inclined to pick up the less favourable attributes from the big kids that she's been encountering on her travels.

Whether it's her moaning, whining, grabbing or plain ignoring of instructions I'm not sure how you're supposed to get her to listen. I'm hoping that with consistency, she'll eventually start to listen and understand that these behaviours are just not cool.

I've also learned how to use imovie and am kind of addicted to it. Stay tuned for more videos!

http://www.youtube.com/user/DanielleAlderman#p/a/u/0/f8yDhsr3IFY

Oh Dear

2011-06-24T23:42:00.000-04:00

Oh Dear is what I meant to say.

Oh Shit is what actually came out.

More than once.

Maybe even more than I'd care to admit.

I'm now in denial that Elly says "Oh Sshhh... something or other" when something doesn't quite go righ and she opts out of her prefers use of "Uh-oh".

There are new words DAILY. Sometimes even more than one. The other day there were three new words. In fact they're coming so quickly now, I'm having a hard time tracking just what's new and what's just gaining frequency. Today was "Car" and "Shoe". I think she said "Potty" too, but wouldn't repeat it once I asked her about it.

It's confirmed - the kid does NOT forget a thing!!!

Today she and I were at the memorial stone place (which seems to have some kind of crazy energy that encourages her to turn into a wild, curious, silly and exceptionally busy child). Yet, somehow she managed to remember EXACTLY where the kids toys were within moments of walking in the door. We were there once, over a month ago and she remembered.

And the busyness.... most days it's amazingly cute and wonderful. On the days where I'm dragging her around to do a million errands and she's had enough - less cute. Less wonderful. Less patience all around. Not good for any of us.

So much more to say, but I'm exhausted. It's been an amazingly wonderful, yet busy week. The balance between daytime parenting, working, responsibilities and playtime have been stretched to the max at the expense of my rest.

Now to bed.

HIP UPDATE

2011-06-24T00:01:00.000-04:00

Today we had another Hip follow up with Dr. B. This one was very important to me as I felt it was a big turning point in her potential treatment plan. If things hadn't improved there surely would have been talk of corrective surgery and an additional body cast. Fortunately, this wasn't the case and I was quick to find myself holding back tears and doing a little dance and cheer for our wee love bug.

The ball of Elly's hip joint has FINALLY started to develop. It's just a little shadow now on the xray, but it's there. The final piece to the puzzle... or at least close to it. We have another 4 months till our next appointment in November when we will hopefully be cleared of likely needing surgery!!!!

Last appointment Elly's hip was running at a solid C grade, given it's history, C wasn't all bad as it was improving. But it wasn't good without that ball. With the ball of the joint she has jumped into a B- range. The ball needs to continue to develop and her sockets do need to continue to get deeper. Also, the angle that the joint connects needs to improve as well. I believe she mentioned it was 28º, this is an improvement from previous appointments of 29º and 33º.

Perhaps this little visual aid will make some sense - or make it more confusing? It shows her last xray and today's. I did what I could to try and help explain it with some lines and such.

I should also make mention of just how awesome Elly was for the xray. Not a single peep. No fuss, no muss, just laid there and kept her legs where they were supposed to go. It was amazing. We were in and out in 5 mins.

It was a truly awesome appointment and made for a wonderful start to our day.

And the flood gates are open

2011-06-16T21:50:00.000-04:00

I knew there were gates, I knew one day they would open and that things were going to shift. Heck, there may have even been moments where I was willingly seeking out how to unlock the gates.

I don't know at exactly what moment they opened, or how long they're really been open for, but I can assure you this kid is in overdrive for development. So much so, that I feel like I should be keeping a note pad at my side all day to record her moments. Maybe I should just take to following her with a video camera all day instead?

Words - The kid babbles constantly. She sings to herself, she talks to her toys, she talks to me, she talks to the dog and the cats. She just talks and talks and talks and talks. I don't suspect the addition of audible words is going to slow her down any. In fact, I think she's just figured out the word "Why?". Isn't this early for the Why? Why? Why's? She already knows "this" and "that". Combined with "Why" she's unstoppable for stirring up conversations. I'm told today she said "Silly Willy"and "Grandpa". I've heard the variations on "Silly Willy", which are cute and hard to fully hear unless you're paying attention.

Today she also exclaimed "Bubbles!!" as I held in her my arms and she pointed at the bubbles on the counter. So of course I obliged and we went out back and played with bubbles. Although me blowing them is rarely adequate these days. She would much prefer blowing them herself. The impressive part being that she can. Only real trouble comes when she hold the stick at the top and the bubble juice is at the bottom of the container and the stick can't reach.

So as far as I can tell, that was at least three new words today. In all reality, there could have been more, those were just the ones I caught.

In other proud mommy moments, this afternoon we headed down to Spencer Smith, the home of the Sound of Music Festival. I figured between the park, splash pad and event set up that Elly would surely be distracted entertained enough to earn herself a good nights sleep. Not to mention her 45min nap totally didn't cut it and I was seriously pooped.

First realization - I left the potty at home. A wave of panic washed over me. I contemplated going home for it, but i was too close to our final destination and the traffic wasn't welcoming enough for me to want to attempt it again. I pretty much take the potty every where I go by car. That way she always has somewhere to go. Yesterday at Springridge it was actually easier to get to the potty in the car, then the public washroom, so it worked out well.

Anywho, I digress.

Forgot the potty. Panicked. Got over it. And we went to the park.

I figured once we were in sight of the park, that she's be so focused on the park, that we wouldn't be rushing off to see much of anything else. Given that we can't drive past a park without her exclaiming park, or something that sounds similar. I was pretty confident that the park was where it was going to be at.

Lesson learned. Splash pad trumps the park, no matter how chilly the breeze is off the lake or how cold the water is. I was prepared and changed her into her swim suit. Unfortunately she piddled her pants, but I don't think she expected it anymore than I did. Once in her swim suit, there was no stopping her from the water. She must have played in there for 30mins and I only took her out because she was shivering and her lips were blue. She tried to fight me, but cuddled up in a warm towel I was able to win her over. Fortunately the change of clothes I had available were actually much warmer than what she'd come in, so it was easier to warm her up.

Once she got her fill of the water, the giant playground kept her entertained for quite a while longer. There were slides to explore, big kids to observe, little kids to entertain, and things to climb.

I should go back for a second to the splash pad... the deep "Ha! Ha! Ha!" belly laugh that comes from this kid these days in her moments of utter joy is second to none. It's hilarious. Wide mouth, fully belly exclamations of joy and there were plenty of these moments as the various fountains changed up on the splash pad. And the screams and squeals in between were awesome too!

So ya, the playground was a big hit. I then tried to encourage her back to her stroller for a little walk around the grounds, but that was short lived. She much preferred to hold the side of it, or just walk beside it.

Oh yes and I believe we may have had our fourth new word of the day. I can't remember if she's said it before or not, but today as she pointed at the lake repeatedly, she kept repeating "Water". She was so excited, in fact she was pointing at herself and at the water, which I've come to learn is basically, she wants in the water. Not happening to day my dear.

Finally after another 20mins+ of walking I was able to coax her back into the stroller for the walk back to the car. However, just before that point, I was stopped by a little scottish lady who asked how old Elly was, then asked if she was potty trained? Seems her teeny tiny no diaper bum caught this ladies attention. She was amazed and went on to repeat to each of her walking pals that this little girl here was potty trained and she wasn't even 2yrs old.

Given the lack of potty, when we got to the car, I sat on the curb, put Elly's legs over mine so she was in a sitting like position, held her up and told her to go and voila - a big giant piddle puddle on the side of the road. Man, was I ever glad it was there and not in the backseat as I'm confident there was no way she was going to make it home with that much in her bladder.

Anywho... almost done.

One more thing I wanted to make mention of before I forgot.

This kids observation skills are outstanding!!!

For quite some time now I've been having issues with my feet. After seeing someone, I have now received my new orthodics and had them in my lawn mowing shoes this afternoon. Elly didn't see me put them in or anything. At first she walked past the shoes and noticed the patterned insoles. Two hours later, she noticed the former insoles sitting on the hallway stairs, where she proceeded to pick them up and take them to the shoes with the orthodics in them. You see, I have a couple pairs of running shoes. One's for lawn mowing, ones for running and one's that will be taking over the lawn mowing spot soon. All are the same brand and look nearly exactly the same, with the exception of their level of wear. Yet, she took the old insoles to the right shoes. How she picks up on this stuff is beyond me.

I swear, there are so many things that are beyond me these days with her. Her smarts are amazing, but it's the observation stuff that I'm really having to watch out for. Do what I say, not what I do.... but I know, it's the what I do, that is equally, if not more so important.

Now to wait and see what tomorrow will bring.... Certainly, I think I need to break out the video camera more.

Parenting

2011-06-14T23:02:00.000-04:00

I'm a (over) thinker. That's nothing new really. It used to just be me, myself and I, then we threw in this blog thing and well, now it's me, myself, I and a whole bunch of other people.

I think about how each generation of adults complains about the generation of kids, teens and young adults. I think about the advise that they pass along, I think about the influences of this generation, what I liked about when I grew up and "the good old days".

You know, the days when you had to walk 5 miles to school, uphill both ways, without shoes, carrying 6 hours of homework on your back, which you couldn't start until you milked the cows, cleaned the house, made dinner and did the dishes by hand when you were done. When homework consisted of books, pencils and paper and you did it because it was good for you.

You know, the days when loyalty had value, respect was demanded first and earned later, manners we mandatory and elders were people we looked up to.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who might think those days are best in the past. Heck, they may think that a world without technology, media and the internet isn't a world worth raising a kid in.

In a time where extra curricular activities are abundant, the majority of houses have two working parents and everyone is pushing their kids to be the first, the best and the leader in this, that or the other. All I want to do is hide.

I'll be honest. I'm a big fan of the internet and what it can offer. I love sports and extra curricular activities and I'm amazed at just how fast our little one can learn when pushed encouraged. But you know what is really amazing? The outdoors. Be it trips to the beach, rollerblading, hikes, walks, parks, bike rides, splash pads or pools. Playdates, a random game of "soccer", playing eye-spy, or simon says. Sing-a-longs. Dancing, digging in the dirt, jumping in puddles.

Every now and again I think that maybe I'm being a bad stay at home Mom because I don't set aside scheduled time for "learning". We don't sit down with books, flash cards, videos or anything really. There is no conscious effort to learn numbers, or letters or colours. Well, maybe that's not fair to say. There is a conscious effort, but not in a sit down and learn kind of way. Instead we do these things while we're busy playing.

When I sing the ABC's, Elly, in her own special way sings a long with me. Her letter is "C". If I sing ring around the rosy, she will turn herself in a circle, or hold hands and go in a circle and fall to the ground when she's supposed to. She will stand up with the second verse too. If you want to do a little tea cup, she'll show you her handle and her spout, she'll even tip over and pour out. She claps her hands, stops her feet, covers her eyes and on occasion will shout hooray when she's happy and she knows it.

Her vocabulary is growing. I can ask her to repeat words until I'm blue in the face and rarely will she cooperated. However, out of the blue, she just spits them out. "Happy" remains a favorite right now as she repeats it over and over and over. She also says, "there", Bye", "Hi", doggy, duckie, moo, meow, woof and more.

Her observation skills are second to none as far as I can tell. I've come to learn that if I don't want her to do something, I better not do it myself. She only needs to see it once and she's got it. She is a sponge.

So what does all this mean in the world of parenting?

Frankly, I don't know. I'm just as new at this as the next parent of one. There are no handbooks, but there are an incredible number of reference guides and opinions to choose from. My approach is simple. I don't necessarily seek out the things I want her to be good at, because really, I want her to be good at being her. But what I do think about, are the nasty habits I don't want her to pick up.

I want Elly to have a mind of her own, but be respectful of her elders and her boundaries. I want her to be loyal, yet independent. I want her to be able to survive without technology. I want her to enjoy "the good old days". Where the internet was a tool, not a way of life. Where phones are used to 'talk' to people, not type at people. Where she can learn the value of emotion through face to face time. I want her to have patience and not need to have everything move at the speed of light due to technology.

So how will I do it all? I don't know exactly, but for now, in our little bubble we're doing alright. Playdates and some exposure to other kids lets her learn about others and interact with them. I try and limit my computer time when I'm around her, I refrain from texting or using any other hand held devices that could offer distractions.

Frankly, my approach is simple.

Plenty of fresh air, positive attention, interaction, patience and love. Lots and lots of love.

Our kid is no different then the next one really. They're all special and here for us to teach and to learn from. She has no super hero powers, no fancy abilities that are likely to make her famous one day. My only hope is that as she grows up, she makes a positive impact on the lives around her. I want for people to remember her fondly. And really, reading early, knowing her alphabet early or doing anything at a "genius" level isn't going to affect that. Being a good person, is just that - being a good person.

So next time I watch a video of a friends child, or see a FB update telling me about another kids accomplishments, I'll take a moment to remind myself, that I don't need to measure the my childs successes against someone else. I'll be honest, it may take a few reminders, because although I know in my heart and in my head that each kid learns at their own pace. There's no denying that every once in a while another kids accomplishments get me moving on testing Elly to see if she can do the same.

Will this stop me from posting my own glowing updates of Elly - nope. It probably should, but it won't. I can't help it. I'm addicted to sharing those proud moments. Not for me to get a pat on the back, but mostly because I'm simply amazed at what this little person is doing

Anywho... enough rambling for one night. Time to hit the hay. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow.

"Ho-ppy!"

2011-06-11T21:11:00.000-04:00

If you're happy and you know it - just say it!

Elly says Happy. It's so darn cute. She's so darn cute. She also tries to say Park and a wave of other words. She yammers a lot and I'm sure there are more intentional words mixed in there, but there's no doubt that every now and again we get more audible clear words - like my favorite - Happy! She says happy at the most random moments and it's great.

Man I love this kid.

Hold On Tight!

2011-06-07T21:23:00.000-04:00

Well it's summer and life is a buzz to say the least. I'm not exactly sure where spring went. It surely must have been washed away with all the rain we had. Whatever the case, it's summer now and it's not going to last long. Not that I'm making any sort of weather predictions. I'm just calling it like it is. When was the last time you looked back at a summer and thought to yourself - Phew! Glad that's over, it just dragged on forever. My point exactly. It just keeps picking up pace and getting faster and faster each year. Remember when we were kids and we'd come back after summer holidays and classmates grew 6 inches and so much seemed to happen in the summer that 8 weeks really did feel like a lifetime?

It is with all this understanding and experience of years gone by and the anticipation of what's to come that I can't help but want to hold onto each and every moment tighter and tighter. Not that I don't want to let go, it's just that I want to have it for an extra moment or two.

I don't even know how long it's been since Elly's been wearing underwear. About a month? Just over a month? Frankly, if it wasn't for this blog I'd be clueless as I don't track these milestones anywhere else.

So how goes it?

Pretty ok I guess. I was getting discouraged again because she's been "playing" with her knew found power. If she wants out of something, she knows that if she indicates she wants to pee, that she'll be set free. Sometimes she'll split the difference and actually go with a little coaxing. Other times trying to get her on the potty is WORSE than trying to get a cat into a carrying case. You cat owners out there know exactly what I'm talking about! She cooperates, let's me pull down her pants and just as the back of her knees are about to hit the toilet to get her into that nice sitting position for her business, she stiffens up and arches her back. Which is quickly followed by a starfish type pose. She's been inches away from having both her feet put directly into the toilet water a couple of times, let alone the whole being nearly dropped business. I have to make a great effort to see the comedy of the situation from someone else looking in, otherwise, I loose my cool and am quick to get frustrated and angry and loose my Mom Cool.

With that said, for all those really frustrating moments that lead up to me wanting to give up and go back (which there is no going back now) She suddenly does something AMAZING. Like last night when she came to Jeff, tugged on his pants took him to her potty and showed she wanted it open. He then put her on and she proceeded to have a poop. Victory!!!!

But then today, she's back to these half piddle accidents. She knows the protocol, she knows to ask. But she's stopped. If you ask her she'll tell you and if you WATCH her like a hawk, you'll see the indicators that she needs to go, albeit not really directed at you. But she rarely will come and say she has to go - which is frustrating given that she was doing it really well.

With the exception of nap time and bed time she's in underwear all the time... oh and long car rides. So really, for all the little oops moments, there are still plenty of very successful moments. I'm thinking maybe we've dropped off on the potty partying aspect a bit too much and she may be looking for a little more recognition, which is alright I suppose. We'll have to find a happy medium.

As for the insanity which is my life -

I reflect back on last summer and just think about how great it was to be off. This summer I'm sure will prove to be pretty awesome too. Sucks though that I do have to work, but also, not sucky that at least for the most part my hours are pretty flexible. Whatever the case, best I hold onto these moments tight and enjoy them because come September I'm back to school full time.

Still haven't a clue how I'm going to balance it with parenting, but am convinced it's going to work out. The flow of life just feels right. A little nerve wracking, but moreso the anticipation of the rewards of what's to come I think.

Elly's hip appointment is coming up at the end of the month. I've been watching her like a hawk. I can see her left leg still turns out a little when she walks. It's not super noticeable to others I don't think. I'm not sure she has any sort of discomfort from it as she never grabs at it or seems to favor it in any way. I'm just keeping EVERYTHING crossed that that little ball has started to form on the joint. It doesn't have to be fully developed, but some indication that it's planning on coming is all I ask for. Surely that can't be too much.

Should another Spica be in her future while I'm in school - well, that is going to be a whole other mess to have to deal with. Here's hoping that bridge doesn't come across our path so we don't have to figure out how to cross it.

As for stuff with Emmett - We have finally made arrangements for his head stone. This is good. Really good. Initially we thought we were going to have to pay just over four thousand for something I really wasn't too thrilled with. But after visiting another company in the area we found something we're both very pleased with for a thousand dollars less. It was like winning the lottery.

And me - I'm good to. I reflect on how amazing an experience it was to fall in love with Elly before she was conceived, then to be blessed with her conception and arrival and everything since. I think about Emmett and the little lessons he offered and how unfortunate it was that he couldn't stay and that I miss what could have been, but know in a very special part of my heart that really, we are all exactly where we're meant to be right now. Then I get to thinking about our dear Emilie and how one day we'll get to meet, I feel blessed that like Elly I have the opportunity to fall in love with her spirit and get to know her on a different level before she comes to join us. I know to some that may sound wonky, but it's true. It wasn't something I got with Emmett, and although I love(d) him very much, we didn't have the same connection... well, I suppose maybe we did. But I knew he wasn't going to get to stay.

On Sunday we had some family photos done and while we sat along side a stream in a beautiful park a dragon fly came to join us while we were all together. It was an amazing feeling and the first blatent reminder that Emmett is with us still. He really is a part of our family.

So that's the scoop. Life is busy and if I don't take the time to smell the roses, they're going to be out of season before I know it. So while I try and be everything to everyone (which I shouldn't, but I enjoy) and live and love and laugh - I'm holding on tight and taking extra moments here and there to say thanks to this wonderful life and for all the love.

Busy. busy. Busy.

2011-06-02T23:12:00.001-04:00

As Elly gets busier, so do I. A girl has got to do, what a girl has got to do to earn a buck or two and maintain some sanity.

I love being a Mom. But I also like working. Well, really work is my play - always has been. If it's not fun, I'm not interested and likely quite a miserable pain in the butt. One of the joys of my personal talents is that my skill set lends itself to working from home. Most of my work is done in the evenings and nap times and for the most part that works great. Sometimes it's a challenge though.

Last year I converted a my photography hobby into a very small wee business. It was at the urging of friends, so I gave it a go. I kind of thought, that as long as don't have a 'real website' then it's still a hobby. Well, truth be told websites are an important part of business these days and if I want to keep up this little hobby of mine, it was time to MAKE time to make my own website.

I am not a web designer, this is why I've applied to return to school and get a proper education. However, I can do a few little things here and there.

So come by and visit me

www.daniellealderman.com
Please be patient and that main image will eventually start rotating through other images to show samples of my work.

or

www.eabeanandco.com

Today's Moments

2011-05-30T21:07:00.001-04:00

Today seemed chalk full of just great moments. Which was a pleasant surprise given that the day started significantly earlier than would normally be deemed as acceptable in this house hold. But that's a whole other mess - Elly has once again given up sleeping through the night and I'm trying to come to terms with how we're going to crack this once again. It was a nice 5 weeks of full night sleeps while it lasted.

Where to start? Really, each moment was pretty exciting in it's own.

I guess, the first thing was our trip to the memorial stone place in town down by the RBG. I went because my Dad recommended I check them out. The cemetery had referred a place in Milton, so we'd gone there originally as really, who has consumer loyalty to a memorial stone place?

Well, we do now. We got a significantly nicer stone, with more 'pizzaz' for $1000 cheaper than Milton. Originally we were going to get a very, very plain light grey, nearly white stone. Straight cut, so special finishes, nothing fancy, black lettering. Given my love for aesthetically pleasing things, I was having trouble not only with the original price, but what we were getting for it. Now The Alderclan will one day all rest in peace together with a nice looking stone to mark our place. The new stone is the same shape and size, but this time it's a nice charcoal grey, with a glazed front and back with natural stone sides. I would have paid the same price for this significantly prettier stone, but to have it for $1000 cheaper is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

Elly had some of her own pretty sweet moments today too. The squeal of Daddy!!! when she saw Jeff tonight was pretty awesome. Her crazy silly running around - also awesome. The five hugs and two kisses before bed - also delightful. Oh wait, then there's blowing of kisses as she drove off with my Mom.

The not so stellar moment - the three stumbles on the sidewalk, the scrapped knees and the disinfecting of the knees that followed.

But the really, really awesome moment of the day....

On our way home from the memorial stone place we had a couple of places to stop. At each stop I more or less was the peepee nazi and was putting Elly on the potty in parking lots all over the place. Every time we got in our out of the car, there was a pit stop on the potty. Elly was less than impressed. Who's to blame her really. We asked if she needed to go, she said no, we put her on the potty regardless. What's the point of asking if we're not going to respect her answer? So after a million attempts and no piddles we headed home. Suddenly the tone of her backseat yammering changed tones and she sounded like a panicking monkey with her "Ooo! Ooo! Oooo's!

As I glanced over my shoulder I asked her if she needed to go. With her legs sticking out to the sides and her crotch grabbing she replied Yes! without hesitation. So we pulled over at the next lights and parked in a complex driveway, pulled out the potty and Voila! She went. And boy did she go!

It was fantastic, amazing. She gets it. She's a willing participant. She's on board.

I think we're now three days dry.

This is awesome. Life is awesome.

Oh ya, I almost forgot.

Elly gave us stickers tonight. I see this as being quite the gesture. Elly loves having stickers on her hands, so we've been using them as rewards for her potty successes. Tonight, as we gave her a couple of stickers, she was being a little odd. It was a small challenge to figure out what the heck she was going on about, but within a couple of moments we figured it out. She wanted Mommy and Daddy to have stickers on their hands too. She picked the stickers and pointed to which hands she wanted us to wear them on. It was heart melting to say the least.

An Amazing Time

2011-05-29T22:16:00.000-04:00

I've often heard parents speak longingly about the days gone by. Wishing for their babies back, missing the way things used to be. I've always assumed that at some point, I too would share in such longing, but I can tell you honestly that I'm not yet.

You see, things are just so amazing. I don't know if it's me or her or just the combination, but everyday is an amazing day these days. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she's really gotten the hang of this potty business, so the initial stress that came with watching her like a hawk and being at arms length constantly wore very thin on me.

With that said, it was a bit of an eye opener for me. Given that I haven't ever really been THAT vigilant with Elly and chosen to be that close and kept that keen of an eye on her, I didn't carry that stress with me. But now that I've done it, I've gotten a new appreciation for a parents who do function like that and an even greater appreciation for the fact that I am lucky enough to have a kid that generally doesn't have to keep me at such a high level of alertness.

I think one of the reasons I'm not yet longing for days gone by is simple because there is so much happening that's new and exciting right now, it's just too much fun to consider living in the past. Heck, I barely have time to consider what the future may hold.

Elly is starting to speak with much more conviction, but unfortunately it doesn't make her any easier to understand. She's loving riding the bicycle with me, she seems to laugh more and get silly. She's just a ball of energy and so contagious when she's in a good mood.

She's amazing and I can't believe how I can continue to still fall deeper and deeper in love with her every day.

And the potty training - still on the up and up. In fact today she came to get me, grabbed me to take me to her potty, then ran ahead to her potty and waited for me.

Hooray for Bikes!

2011-05-28T22:29:00.000-04:00

Last summer I was really hoping to take up bike riding with Elly. I looked into getting a trailer for the bike, then considered a seat for the back of the bike once I got to see the price difference. Then when it came to buying her a helmet I came to learn that bike safety regulations basically prohibit the sale of really small helmets to prevent nut jobs like me who get inclined to take their children for a bike ride before a year of age.

So we waited.

Allllll winter.

I opted for the bike seat instead of the trailer. Mainly because that's what we had when we were kids and well the price was right. I bought it at the first signs of spring, but as we know, that was a looong time ago. Then it took a while for it to finally get installed. But it's done and today Elly and I enjoyed our first bike ride. I suspect it was about 10k and she did great. I look forward to many more.

No pictures of her on board yet, but you can't resist a good my first helmet shot.

The words are coming!

2011-05-27T16:03:00.000-04:00

Early on it was looking like Elly's vocabulary was going to take off. I recall her shy of a year old and exclaiming "Doggy!" so clearly that it blew everyone away. It was followed by some pretty reasonably sounding words and it sounded like we were well on our way to talking - then it kind of stopped.

I don't know if it was that we weren't pushing/encouraging her, or if she lost interest or ability or what. Whatever the case, the only words coming from her mouth could have only been considered japanese for a long time. If we really pushed her, she would give us back some of her previous words, but there was no new sign of anything new. And never in a million years would she "perform on demand" if you asked her to repeat you.

It would seem those times are nearing their end. Elly now plays the Elly say game. It's still pretty new, but I think she's getting the hang of it.

Life Lessons and Underpants

2011-05-27T13:55:00.000-04:00

This morning we were supposed to attend Waldorf School. Alas, we slept in, I moved slowly, as did Elly and frankly I just couldn't bring myself to pick up the pace. So no new Waldorf wisdom to report. Perhaps I'm losing motivation and their loosing their new sparkly shine?

With that said, I was catching up on some of my Waldorf mail (we're given articles each week). I'm a few weeks behind, but enjoyed the few moments of reading to catch up. The first article was pertaining to the developmental importance of crawling in young children. Not just in the pre-walking stages, but even after they walk. They spoke of the physical benefits, such as muscle strength, dexterity and mobility. They also spoke about the intellectual and emotional benefits. The benefit of problem solving skills -when to choose to crawl instead of walk. Plus how crawling helps develop new road maps in the brain. Overall, a very interesting article.

The second article I read more or less had to do with the emotional maturity of children and sheltering them from the realities of the adult world. It encouraged parents to turn off radios and TVs with news of disasters and bad things. It encouraged parents to keep adult conversation to a minimum in the presence of children. Basically, protect them and encourage their innocence, encourage their trust of the world and the people in it. Allow them to explore and discover in a positive, nurturing environment. One of the most powerful statements to me was when the author stated that children are amazing observers, yet terrible interpreters. This in itself is one of those statements that has really stuck with me and I think I'll carry with me for some time. It in itself is a life lesson, something to take with me and remind myself of constantly. It can be applied in so many ways and can show itself as true for more than just toddler years.

For example, a lady told her school aged son that she was adopted. He listened to the new information, went and thought about it and a while later came back confused. If she was adopted, than why didn't she look different? A strange question of course, as what would adoption have to do with looking different? As it turns out, a classmate of his is adopted. She told the class her her parents went all the way to China to adopt her. So in his little mind, with the knowledge he has, and the observations he's made in his short life, the connection was simple - adoption = China = looking different.

With that I now change topics.

I know the potty topic certainly must be getting old. Seriously, how much can one Mom talk about potty training? Seems, until it could go on for months - and well it just may. I'm making no promises.

This morning proved to be yet another successful potty day thus far. Elly seems to be understanding and obliging when I request a potty stop before we leave the house. But even better, when I ask and she says yes or no, she's being truthful in her answers. As I stopped for gas, I asked her if she needed to go, her answer was yes. I'll be honest, I didn't get her out of the car right away as I wasn't sure if she just wanted an excuse to get out of the car. So a moment later, I asked again and got the same head nod and answer of yes.

So I pulled out the potty, put it beside the car and while I pumped gas into the car, she sat quietly at my side on her potty doing her business. The same happened after our trip to the mall before we headed home. She sat on her potty in the parking lot and read a book while she did her business and old folks drove by with knowing smiles.

What does this mean? Well, it means that slowly but surely we're gaining trust and confidence in this whole process. I'm getting braver in the duration of our excursions and no longer always going to the disposable pull ups. In fact, the only time she really wears them is when she naps or we go for a really long car ride.

Our peescapades continue to be entertaining and successful. I'm just so proud of my little munchkin. She's growing up so fast.

Living on the Edge

2011-05-26T22:03:00.000-04:00

Today started off a little odd. Repeatedly Elly seemed to let out a tiny piddle then request to go potty to finish up. All fine and dandy that she actually has enough ability to restrain herself to some degree, even better that she knows she needs to go in the potty. The trouble being that the little piddle was never quite little enough to save the undies or the pants. So by 9am I think I'd gone through 4 pairs. She has a decent sized wardrobe, but not enough to maintain that pace. Fortunately, once she was at her Grandparents she managed to stay dry the rest of the morning and into the afternoon. I thought for sure once we were back together I was a goner.

As the day went on, Elly continued to have many successes. In fact she was drinking like a fish and peeing like a pro!

Dinner finished early and Dad was busy, and while the sun was shining I figured we'd take advantage of it and go for a little stroll with Maggie Magoo. No stroller, no backpack, no emergency kit of fresh pants, undies or wipes. Just Elly, the dog, a little bag for the dog incase she did number two and that was it. It was supposed to be a short stroll. Just up the street, twenty minutes tops.

Forty-five minutes later we finally made it home. We ended up within sight of the park, which meant we needed to go to the park, then we had to find our way home. Unfortunately the short cut home was WAY too muddy to try and go back that way, so we had to take the side walk home.

Everything was going pretty good. Elly was still walking, Maggie had lightened up on the pulling and we were making progress towards home. Then I saw it. The crotch grab. The kid had to pee. I asked, she nodded yes - remember - no travel kit. No potty on hand. So what does one do?

I dropped her drawers and held her in a sitting position hovering above the sidewalk. Confused she didn't get it and pushed to stand. I pulled her pants back up, we started walking until she grabbed again. I repeated the process, hovering her over the side walk. Again, a no-go. Finally, the third attempt worked and she left her little puddle on the sidewalk.

I know, probably not the best habit to get her in to just pee anywhere, but at this point, the last thing I wanted was a wet peepee bottom resting on my hip for the rest of the way home. Sure enough a couple minutes later she was done with walking and I had to carry her the rest of the way. Anytime I tried to put her down, she clamped to me like a spider monkey.

Overall, a successful day. Tomorrow we're back to waldorf school and I'm curious what "lessons"they'll be easing us into this week.

We're Here!

2011-05-25T22:49:00.000-04:00

So it's been more than 48hrs since my last potty update, ok it's been nearly a week - apparently noted by a reader or two :)

So what have we been up to? How goes the potty training? What's new in the life of Elly?

Well...

We ventured our first 4+hr drive up north this past long weekend. Although she didn't nap nearly as much as we would have liked, she did make it. The potty training went out the window. Although we tried a couple of times, there just isn't enough time from potty request to being able to safely pull over. The same pretty much proved true for the ride home too.

As for the time at the cottage - also quite successful. It was nice because it was more than just Jeff and I there, Elly did eventually start to respond to others more.

But I must say, one of my proudest moments was at the end of the day yesterday when I changed her from the pants and undies she'd been put in, in the morning into her PJ's at the end of the day - No accidents!

So we're in week three of the potty training adventure. I can't say she's trained yet as there are still no words to accommodate her request to use the potty. However, she has come tugging on my pant leg when she needs to poop and I'm not paying direct attention. Although, unfortunately her pee requests aren't as blatant. If you ask her, for the most part she'll tell you if she has to go or not. But mostly it's a matter of who ever she's with asking frequently and looking for her "sign". Her sign varies from an expression to grabbing herself.

As for the rest of life...

BUSY

Very very very busy.

and with that... I'll try not to take another week to come back.

First week Progress Report!

2011-05-16T14:26:00.000-04:00

So it's officially been one week since the potty training started. There's no denying that there have been stressful moments for me, moments of doubt and moments where I've been fully prepared to throw in the towel and admit defeat. I knew at 19months Elly falls on the younger side of the toilet training spectrum. With a limited vocabulary it's safe to say we had our work cut out for us.

After day 5 and 6 being less than stellar I was ready to call it a day and regroup down the road. But then she does these little things to keep my faith and keep me going. This morning being the biggest pat on the back yet.

This morning after she got up she showed she wanted to go pee and she went. Later at our OEYC program she indicated again that she needed to go, so she went in the toilet there. An hour later at swimming, right before we went in the pool, again, she pointed and I put her on the toilet and she went. More success followed after she got out of the pool and again later when we got home, including a poop in the potty.

There was one missed attempt. I don't know if she tried to communicate she had to go or not as I was driving home. I'm not surprised she peed given that she'd consumed half the pool.

She has now show that she can hold it from the time she tells me, to when I actually get her on the pot. She gives me big giant grins while she pees in the potty as she totally gets it's a good thing. There is NO denying we have comprehension and even some desire now. I wouldn't call her reliably trained yet, but we have definitely made some amazing progress in the past week.

I am just so proud of my little munchkin! So, so proud.

I was thinking it was just me that was trained, but I think it's now officially a team effort!!!

Baby Steps

2011-05-15T21:56:00.000-04:00

So today it wasn't me following Elly and watching her like a hawk on the peepee watch. It took a couple of oopses, but eventually we had success again. So much so that twice today she showed us that she had to go and waited for us to remove her clothes before going. In fact, before bed she was pointing that she had to go and waited for me to unbutton her jammies and remove her pull-ups and put her on the toilet before she went.

So she gets it. She's picky and inconsistent, but each day seems to offer up a little bit of progress and success. It's not going to be a quick transition to being potty trained, but we are officially making the transition. There's no going back now :)

The past week as been a lot of peepee talk. I'm sure most of you readers out there are starting to get a little bored and had just about enough of it. So what has Elly been up to?

Absorbing. She absorbs EVERYTHING. Lately she's all over cleaning up after herself. I know, I said no more pee pee talk, but this morning after she showed up at my side with wet undies I was trying to figure where the puddle was. Imagine my surprise when I found it under a dish towel from her play kitchen. Seems she wanted to clean up after herself.

Talking - the kid jammers and jammers and jammers. But honestly, somedays it feels like she has less words then she did a few months ago. We regularly attempt to get her to repeat after us and every once in very blue moon, she'll almost humour us, but for the most part we've got nothing.

Oh yes and the affection. She readily gives kisses and hugs. Often she'll come up to my leg and just hug it and look up at me, then give me another squeeze before she runs off to play.

Tomorrow we return to our regular schedule. It's been a long three weeks. Week one post vegas trip was tough. Week two with a sick kid not so much fun. Week three of intense hovering for potty training also tough. So this upcoming week we get back on track.

Just when I thought...

2011-05-14T22:21:00.000-04:00

The past day and a bit have been challenging on the potty training front. With no real marked signs of improvement, continued missed attempts and the fact that I've been loosing momentum I was starting to think that maybe I'd done wrong by attempting the potty training at this point. Perhaps I was to be proven wrong and that she just isn't ready yet. I've been questioning my motives and wondering if I may have been wrong in starting when I did. Frankly, I was ready to throw in the towel and call it a day and regroup the troops down the road later on this summer.

Tonight we had a scheduled night out. A bowling fundraiser for a friend from 6-9pm. We knew that the likelihood of making the entire event was minimal due to bedtimes and such. However, that wasn't my only concern. I hadn't given much thought to where we'd be in the whole potty training thing at this point of the game. I guess, I figured I would have officially flunked or succeeded, but that either way, we would have achieved some kind of something. At least something more than the weird limbo state we're in.

With the past day and a bit being what it's been, the fact that I didn't want to have a potty in tow, nor did I want to be worried about piddle puddles; I guessed the best approach would be a diaper. However, I didn't want to completely fall back, so I went with a pull up diaper, assuming that no diaper change or anything would be required. In fact, I was so convinced that I was virtually heading towards throwing in the towel, that I put her in a button crotch diaper shirt and jeans.

Everything was going great. Jeff and I were sharing time with Elly in between our turns to bowl. I was able to visit a little, Elly was playing on some video games with steering wheels - all was hunky dory. Then Elly stops and looks at me and points at her crotch. Instinctively I ask her if she needs to pee. She not only nods, but says "Yes" (which actually in Elly's way sounds more like the German word for yes - "Da"). Given my surprise and the fact that this questions has been answered with "no" repeatedly - I ask again. Again, she responds with her "Dah" and big positive head nod. So I whisk her up and take her to the dreaded public washroom. And I truly do mean dreaded in this case, it was not too pretty.

Quickly I search for a tolerable stall, I go in, unable to close the door behind me as we won't both fit in there with me squatting beside her. I pull down her jeans, unbutton the diaper shirt, pull down the pull-ups, put her on the toilet and hear music to my ears - tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. This is in fact THE FIRST successful TOILET peepee, as all previous successes have been in the plastic potty.

I am thrilled. Over the moon in fact. And well, realizing that I can't jump ship just yet. Once again, I will have to resort to more 'patience' as it appears, that maybe, just maybe this past weeks efforts are not lost after all.

The only unfortunate part of todays ultimate success - the fact that once the pull ups came down she couldn't hold it any longer and actually peed on her pants right before I scooped her up and had her on the toilet.

Next week will most likely require the introduction of more pullups when we go out, just so we don't miss anymore programs and really, training pants don't appear to do a whole heck of a lot. While efforts will not be as concentrated, all is not lost and the show will go on.

Day Five a Bust

2011-05-13T21:17:00.000-04:00

Perhaps I should point the finger at the fact that it's Friday the 13th. Or, it could just me wearing after a long week. Not one success story to report today. I swear, she literally waited until I left the room each time. Funny, I always knew she was due and I just kept missing it. Only good thing is one time I think she may have actually been calling for me, I was just out of ear shot. Drats.

Tomorrow is another day, we'll see how it goes.

Potty Progress

2011-05-13T16:39:00.000-04:00

I should be working right now, but I'm going to allow a moment of distraction to get caught up. Blogger was down apparently, leaving me stranded on my updates.

Yesterday was Day4 of potty training. In the morning Elly headed off to her Grandparents for her usual Thursday morning routine. Albeit great effort was made to catch the peepee monster, it evaded everyone and found it's way once to the nap time diaper and once to the kitchen floor when she was left alone for a split second. Although I brought our potty with us, she wanted nothing to do with it. Apparently, much like everything else, Grandma's potty was way better than ours. Although there were no pees, she apparently was quite comfortable sitting on it for quite some time.

The afternoon and evening proved to be more successful and we had no accidents.

The conclusion - I AM OFFICIALLY TRAINED.

As for Elly -she continues to be a work in progress.

Tuesday seems to have been the only real day of great frequency in peeing. Since then she's certainly going much longer periods of holding it, regardless of how many litres of fluid I infuse into her system.

This process reminds me most of house training Maggie. Step one, learn her signals. Step two - react to said signals. Step three - maggie actually getting it and being trained. I would say with confidence that we've achieved step two. In fact, we may be bordering on step three. The bigger challenge is that it's only really me who's been trained and she apparently may be exhibiting some stage fright when it comes to performing for others.

As for today - Day 5. Well, I opted out of Waldorf school today as I was sure to be oozing "good jobs" everywhere and not willing to hold back on them if the potty situation called for it. Not to mention, that I wasn't ready to introduce that challenge of distraction to the mix yet.

We've lost a few more opportunities to the nap time undies and lost one to the deck. However, that loss was an interesting one, as she was actually calling for me. I had assumed it was because she wanted help down the stairs, but when I got to her I saw it was because she had to pee and had made a mess.

The afternoon went on to be thoroughly enjoyable as we brought out her blowup pool and enjoyed the amazing weather. The weekend is sure to be a soggy one, but that's ok as my tan will need time to settle.

Day Three of Three Day Potty Training

2011-05-11T21:10:00.000-04:00

So day three has come and gone and as predicted we do not have a potty trained kid. Does this mean I'm going back to diapers and calling it a day?

Nope. Not my style. With that said, I have to keep in mind that that my style may not be Elly's. So I need to take it easy if need be.

So why haven't we had success after 3 days of hibernation and following all the guidelines?

There are a likely a few reasons why we haven't had the immediate success. The first one being that Elly is only 19 months old. Albeit it clever and entertaining I'm not sure I'd say she's advanced. Really, she's just a regular 19 month old.

If you read the books, they'll tell you that children will exhibit signs. I'll be honest, I didn't read any books. I just thought, why not try. She's clever, it may take work, why not give it a go.

What element am I missing?

Simple - Verbal Communication. I could really, really use the sound of a little voice saying "Pee Pee" or something that would give me a heads up.

This doesn't mean we don't have communication. After three days of observation and teaching we've developed some kind of communication. She appears to understand the concept of "yes or no" when asked if she has to pee. Does this mean she always goes when she says yes and is placed on the potty? Not quite yet. But we're making progress.

On the positive side, she definitely gets what's going on. Even tonight just before bed as she was in her sleepy time diapers and full piece PJ's she started peeing and looked at me like I was supposed to do something. I asked her if she was peeing and she nodded yes. At that point I was lost as to how I was supposed to support her verbally. A yay for peeing, but no stickers was the end result.

Oh yes... and that anti good job waldorf movement - totally not my style. I swear, I have more "Good Job" compliments flowing from my mouth than a sailor stuck at sea. At this point in the game I want her to want to please me, it's my crutch for success. We can deal with the anti good job movement another day. Frankly, as far as I see it, she needs to want to please me so she can understand the concept, then want to please herself. It's a fair concept to implement down the road, but now is not the time for us. Hopefully this doesn't get us shunned from school. Which really is irrelevant and the budget dictates that this will be her first and possibly last experience there. For this year at least.

Tomorrow Elly will go to her grandparents house and we'll see what a change of scenery does for her improvement. I have to get in touch with the waldorf school and see if they're up for me coming with potty in hand or if I need to wait a week.

Although the cabin fever has been tough to deal with, especially following the week post vacation, then a week of illness, over all I think we've had a good bonding experience. Now we just need to loosen her grip on me slightly as she's getting ridiculously clingy - as in she literally holds on to me with her arms legs and toes when she thinks I'm going to put her down when she doesn't want to be put down.

Breaking the Fever

2011-05-11T16:22:00.000-04:00

Cabin fever was getting to be too much. Although I'm adapting, I needed OUT. So I cracked and broke potty training protocol (I know, we can do whatever we want, but i was trying to follow the guidelines I set forth). I needed one ingredient for dinner, Elly and Dad needed their milk, I needed to expand the search for my marbles.

I struggled with whether or not to put her in diapers, pull ups or even the cloth diapers I bought over a year ago and never used. In the end, given her suspected empty bladder and bowel I went for the gusto - undies and regular pants.

With the potty in tow along with a change of clothes and a towel on the car seat we took the plunge and survived. I'm convinced it was more luck then skill at this point, but am pleased none the less.

There was a lot of yammering over the monitor when I put her down for her nap. It lasted a really long time. I anticipate I will once again find a naked bum in her bed, but suspect I won't be so fortunate with everything being dry. I'd go peak, but will wait for fear of waking her and frankly, I could use a cat nap.

Wish me luck.

Continued Success

2011-05-11T13:18:00.000-04:00

Well, nap time came and I assumed all my piddle chasing efforts would be lost to the nap. Imagine my surprise when I got her up from her nap to discover her bare bum sticking straight up in the air. My heart sunk, I hadn't seen a poop in over 24hrs, I knew it was coming, I knew there was a full bladder sent to bed - this was going to be a disaster!

Hesitant, I went closer and looked in. She rolled over and offered up proud grin. I looked around, pulled up the tangle of leggings and pull-ups, carefully lifted blankets for fear of putting my finger in something warm - and nothing. She was completely dry, the pull ups were dry, the pants - dry. EVERYTHING Dry!

Immediately we went to the toilet. Performance anxiety set in. I shouldn't be surprised, she hasn't formally been introduced to the toilet. So we went downstairs. I should have gone straight to the potty, but apparently my focus can't handle the time it takes to walk down 13 stairs and while trying not to forget my boiling pot of water on the stove.

With that said, she kindly waited until I was within range and we caught the piddle quick before it grew into a puddle and we caught it. The peepee gods are pleased today with all the dancing going on I'm sure.

I still hadn't see the poop I'd been waiting for, fortunately during lunch I caught her infamous poop face. It took a couple of tries to get her from high chair to potty as the transition seemed to scare it back. Fortunately things panned out and everything landed where it should.

Now, with an empty bladder and bowel we are going to go to the grocery store. Now, am I brave enough to attempt undies or stick with a light cloth diaper instead??

You'll have to stay tuned.

Piddles, patience and finally PROGRESS!!!!

2011-05-11T11:40:00.000-04:00

So day one seemed like it was a bust given the limited opportunities to reinforce the message and concept of potty training. Day two proved to offer a million opportunities and even a few mommy success moments.

Day three offers the first real highlight of the event. Even though yesterday was pretty successful, cabin fever has set it and I was getting extremely tempted jump ship and resort to a less 'intense' potty training method. Slowly I started justifying to myself, how just one quick trip to the store or out for a walk, or just out ANYWHERE wouldn't screw things up. Really, we hadn't made any significant progress yet, what harm would it be? How far could I put her back?

Well, I don't have all the answers, but I know this - she gets it!

This morning as we were in the living room playing she gave me this look. I ignored it at first, then as if to read her mind, I realized that maybe, she just got the feeling of "I have to pee" and she knows she's supposed to do something. So I asked, do you have to pee? She shook her head yes. I sat there. She looked at me like aren't you going to do something? Which I didn't in that split second, but realized what she was telepathically saying through her expressions as she started to pee and I grabbed her and transferred her to the potty - SUCCESS!!!!

The peepee dance followed with lots of clapping and a fresh sticker for the day - HOORAY!!! She gets it, she really, really gets it.

The next one I missed and was sacrificed to the kitchen floor as I walked away for a minute to have my own potty break. I could see her from the bathroom, again her expression was like "Mom, why aren't you here?" Again, she seemed to know she was supposed to be on the potty, but I wasn't there to help her.

I then spent the next couple of hours filling her up in hopes of getting another chance to correct our approach. I then found myself faced with the clock - try for a nap, or wait out the pee?

I've knowingly sacrificed the next round to the sleepytime undies and by the sounds from the monitor suspect there's no nap reward to at least justify it.

As for the cabin fever. The grocery store calls. I need one major ingredient for tonights dinner that I forgot to get the other night. So we will venture out. Otherwise, I think we'll try and enjoy some of this nice weather in the backyard.

Nearly 11 weeks

2011-05-10T15:13:00.000-04:00

Well, time does as it should. Not sure if that means it heals, or just fades our wounds. Whatever the case life has resumed itself and kept moving forward as it promised it would.

Physically I'm still carrying extra weight that I can't seem to shed no matter how hard I work out, which is a terribly annoying reminder of what happened. Jeff and I signed up for this fitness training program through a coupon I received through wagjag. The hour long classes are intense and often leave us both with shaky muscles and exhausted. Although I appear to be getting "faster" and stronger, still the weight lingers.

Soccer season starts next week I think. I would stay I'm back in a normal preseason shape. Actually, I may even be ahead of myself compared to some previous seasons.

Really, after 5 months of pregnancy, minimal fitness and our loss, I feel like I'm ahead of the curve. If it wasn't for this annoying nearly 10lbs, I'd feel like I was back to my old self.

We went looking at memorial stones for the grave. Sure, there going to be there for all eternity, but I just don't see why they need to be so damn expensive. Just over $4,000 for the "base model" cheapy one. Coupled with my desire to return to school this fall and not having my former income, I'm feeling the financial crunch.

With all that said, things are well. Dare I say better than some may have expected? Me, I had no expectations.